
Kick-Ass star Aaron Johnson is only 19. Sam Taylor-Wood, who directed him in the John Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy, is 42. But that didn’t stop him from knocking her up. It’s kinda weird, but kinda impressive, considering the only thing I could’ve knocked up when I was 19 was my roommate’s socks. She must have really strong kegels.
Young film star Aaron Johnson and divorced director Sam Taylor-Wood yesterday [in January] announced they are expecting their first child. The couple, who met when Sam, 42, cast Aaron, 19, as John Lennon in her feature film Nowhere Boy, have been engaged since October.
A spokesman for the pair said: “We can confirm that Sam is pregnant with her and Aaron’s first child. Both are very, very happy.”
Artist-turned-director Sam has daughters Angelica, 12, and Jessie, three, from her 11-year marriage to Jay Jopling, which ended in 2008. Art dealer Jay, 46, has been linked with Lily Allen, 24. [MirrorUK - thanks to Zak for the tip]
Jeez, I would’ve thought one of the advantages of banging a 42-year-old was that at least she couldn’t get pregnant. She must have a very youthful womb. Which is what I look for in a woman (they complain about the speculum being cold, but it’s worth it). In any case, I hope the baby doesn’t mind breast feeding from two white flags that say “Bang.”



HEY! 42 is not old!
*shakes walker at you*
I’m jealous. The only humping I’m getting is this one forming on my back.
Chino, Vince emailed me and told me he thinks you’re old.
I’ll be waiting for him to dump her for his soon to be step-daughter. I hear that’s all the rage in Jolly Ole… you know, like having burly men spank you while you’re in ladies underpants.
NONONONONONONONO. You’re doing it all wrong.
/Roman Polanski
Stone, I can’t read your comment because I left my bifocals at home :(
Baby born in comic book drawing sequence or GTFO!
I’ll mail you mine.
Speaking of mail, can you believe how much a stamp costs today?
Can’t be much, all the tramps have ‘em. Right, Chino?
I expect this guy to be locked up for molesting seniors in nursing homes in the future. Just like me.
I remember when a cup of coffee cost $.10!
Cougars are hot (flashy)
Here’s my wine, dine, 69: prune juice, early bird special at IHOP and then I’ll let you bang my mom while I get back to my knitting.
Haha! Just kidding. My mom’s only 66.
I’d still hit it.
I never said she was old, just that she’s kind of old to be pregnant. Her arms won’t be long enough to hold the baby up to her breasts for feeding!
She doesn’t even look pregnant. I need a girdle like that.
She’s 42, her breasts can just dangle into the kid’s mouth.
You just lay the baby on the ground to feed it, silly!
Is that considered a dickstep?
There’s no way she’s nursing that kid, her breast milk expired in 2002.
The baby will die of neglect when they ignore the little man behind the gray curtains.
The baby is going to look just like it’s mom. Wrinkly with no teeth.
I won’t judge him. He’s just another young actor who wanted to get into SAG.
So the name The Green Condom is apparently false.
Surely this phony arrangement will help quell the gay rumors.
Totally different subject: How do these older women get their hair to cover eye corner wrinkles just so?
Charlie: Robots of DEATH!!!!!!!
Yup. Y’know i’m sure Sam Taylor Wood is very talented and everything but even Steven Seagal would think long and hard before molesting her. Actually, Seagal has to think long and hard about everything. Hence the squinting.
Man, Mary-Kate Olsen has aged weirdly.