I know the man-child thing is all the rage these days, especially for the vocationally pantless like me, but I’ll be honest, it feels good to be excited about a trailer that doesn’t feature people in spandex shooting guns for once. This one’s called A Solitary Man, featuring a cast of chicks nerds want to bang of all ages (Jenna Fischer, Mary Louise-Parker, Olivia Thirlby), not to mention Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito, Susan Sarandon, and Jesse Eisenberg, with direction by the guys who wrote Rounders. Excited yet? Here, try this cocaine.
Michael Douglas obviously plays an older dude on the prowl, which appeals to most of us dudes, because we’re probably going to be old some day, and let’s face it, it’s either old dude on the prowl or old dude banging an old lady, and no one wants that, except maybe A-Rod. It appears Jesse Eisenberg becomes Douglas’ protegé, as Douglas is a suave smooth-talker who knows how to pick up a lady and Eisenberg plays a college student who was tragically born beJew-fro’d. (I can point that out because I suffer from the same affliction). From there I can only assume it follows the basic Gran Torino mentor-protegé blueprint and Michael Douglas strangles some gooks.
Not sure how I feel about Jesse Eisenberg yet. I liked him in Adventureland, he was okay in Zombieland, but he occasionally borders on annoying. Call it the Eisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
Mini Update: ThePlaylist tells me Eisenberg is barely in the movie and it’s not a mentoring movie at all. So so much for that.




sure how I feel about Jesse Eisenberg yet. I liked him in Adventureland, he was okay in Zombieland, but he occasionally borders on annoying. Call it the Eisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
By observing Jesse Eisenberg while consciously thinking about whether you’re annoyed, you turn him into Jay Baruchel.
Eisenberg actually bangs Kristen Stewart in Adventureland. Not sure if that makes him more likable.
He’s sought after both in Hollywood and on Breaking Bad.
You can determine the location of a Jewfro or it’s velocity, but not both simultaneously.
Didn’t Jennifer Love Hewitt used to beJewfro her vagina?
If they ever make Return of the King David, Eisenberg would make a great beJew-fro’do.
@donk–before she started waxing, the hair waved beJewto and beJewfro.
I suffer from the same affliction
Fuckin’ MMA fans…
Any of you seen Roger Dodger? Eisenberg also plays a sexless protege, but of his douchey womanizing uncle. It’s not a bad flick, actually.
Good story, Chareth.
I didn’t think Jewfro’s obeyed the laws of physics. I mean, look at what Jonah Hill did to the law of conservation of mass.
Shouldn’t a film named A Solitary Man be about a guy spanking it in the shower and weeping over his lonely life?
Or is that just me?
I’m sick of everyone’s high scores on BeJew-Fro’d Blitz clogging up my feed on facebook.
I was gonna make a Roger Dodger comment until (a) I read the Mini Update and (b) Chareth beat me to it. In conclusion, Roger Dodger is a pretty sweet flick.
Good story, Schmoove!
They took a frozen turd called Wonder Boys, threw it in the toaster oven and this warmed over corn log popped out.
And I will never forgive Eisenberg for what he did to the Titanic.
@apBa–deliver some pizza to that shower and Jamie Foxx will star in the movie. Solitaryman, Marvel’s least popular superhero.
@openwide–you’re thinking of Billy Zane.
A Simple Man. A Serious Man. A Solitary Man. This is the lamest trend in titles since the Regarding Henry Deconstructing Harry Being Human gerund debacle.
With Susan Sarandon “You’re out of your mind”
And Danny Devito “Eh”
And Cleavon Little “Here’s where the white women be at”
Yup, concur with m’learned colleagues regarding Roger Dodger, although i couldn’t suspend disbelief at the eponymous antihero’s obsession with old bird Isabella Rossellini. I’d need a full tank of Frank Booth’s gas to get excited about that overrated old bag.
I think Vince’s insecurity over his Jew-fro is why he makes fun of hipster haircuts so much.