fdwernerherzog

"One mustn't show deference to za bear, or else za bear haz already won."

Roger Ebert recently attended a lecture where Werner Herzog discussed his movie Aguirre: The Wrath of God, and while that’s not the main focus of this post, Werner Herzog can’t take a dump without saying or doing something quotable, and who am I to deny you of that?  I’m just a humble blogger with a magical crotch. A couple gems:

- A quarter-mile upstream from this shot, Herzog says, he returned only a year ago to the Urubamba river to shoot a scene for his latest film, “My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done.” Nobody asked him why, and indeed it is hard to pinpoint a reason why footage from a Peruvian rapids was required for a crime drama set in San Diego. Somehow, with Herzog, you don’t ask such a question.

- Herzog said he doesn’t give a great deal of thought to composition. “I focus entirely on the subject of the shot.” One shot shows the fat man straddling a cannon and eating a mango. A voice asks, “Is that a phallic symbol?” Herzog replies” “It honestly never occurred to me until you pointed it out. I wanted to have a shot showing the man who consumed all our mangos.”

Good stuff.  Anyway, let’s get down to ass tax: Herzog also revealed that he’ll be shooting a documentary about the 32,000-year-old paintings inside the Cave of Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc in Southern France… in 3D.

Cave-DrawingHerzog must return to work. He has been granted three hours to film inside the Cave of Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc in Southern France, where the wall paintings have been dated to 32,000 years ago. There is no documentarian better suited than Herzog to make this film of a sacred place unseen for centuries. He will bring to it awe and poetry. [full post here]

Okay, Ebert, settle down there, buddy.  I like him too; I don’t expect him to levitate.  So anyway, Herzog apparently plans to shoot a full-length documentary in 3D with three hours of footage from a three-person crew using only cold lights (part of his agreement to be allowed to film in the cave).  Thankfully, I imagine that will leave room for lots and lots of intense voice over.

It make me zo angry zat za cheeldren valkink around all day feeling zair zombie heads mit da gameboyz, oont za Fayzbooks, oont za Starbuck’s fockeenk coffez, ven right heah under zair nozes, exeests za possibeelity to zee za vorld through za eyes of za caveman. Za oreeginal poet, oo vent noze to schnout mit za bear, oont za rhino, oont za sabre-toothed tigah, and oo create great vorks of art, vhether eet be een za paintings ee draw on za valls of za cave, or za large aneemalz ee slaughter for za meat.  Eet eez za poetry uff za pen, oont za poetry uff za spear.  Eez beautiful.