No! Bad hipster! You are not lobster dog and no one cares about your sh*tty band! Shoo, shoo!
I’ve been pretty open about my love of Greg Mottola (Superbad, Adventureland), but it sounds like if I ride my fixed-gear up to his next film wearing the wrong color keffiyah, I might get beaten to death with albums on vinyl (that haven’t even been released yet).
Mottola has been hired by Paramount to write the screenplay for its adaptation of “Important Artifacts.” A little over a year ago, the studio won an auction for the rights to Leanne Shapton’s book — full title: “Important Artifacts and Personal Property From the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion and Jewelry” — which Farrar Straus & Giroux had just published.
An art director at the New York Times, Shapton crafted a fictional estate auction catalog full of personal items and photographs from the four-year romance between a male photographer and a younger food columnist. Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman quickly became attached to star in what Mottola will spin into a romantic comedy. [THR]
Ah, so you see it’s like an upper-class hipster yard sale as rendered in the archaic prose of an archeological dig, with a nod to Ernest Hemingway’s famous six-word story, “For Sale, baby’s shoes, never worn.” If you listen closely, you can almost hear the sound of Dave Eggers’ semen landing on the latest issue of McSweeney’s. Oh this is too fun. Let’s look at a review, shall we?
Despite the mist of melancholy that floats amid this photographic record, there is also humor, caprice, knowingness and the implicit suggestion that changing feelings and fading possessions can’t rob a true romance of the value it had at its height. As Lenore and Hal’s remembrances show, a love affair is worth more than its trappings could fetch at a jumble sale. —Liesl Schillinger, The New York Times (source)
Slight correction: That wasn’t the mist of melancholy Liesl sensed floating in there, I actually farted into her office while she was reading this. And then we both inhaled deeply, having a frank discussion about its nuttiness and earthy overtones.
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You wanna see douchey hipster? Hold on a sec…
MMO fagweed spazzes out about DDO, but this is his disclaimer:
Okay, I had a glass of 30 year old Vintage Port and smoked a Kretek and have settled down enough to comment on Turbines “Offer Wall” without being overly emotional about it.
http://forums.lotro.com/showpost.php?p=4567066&postcount=22
Of course he had to mention “Kretek” several times until (invariably) one of the lolkids asked him what it was, so he got to play the “illegal clove cigarettes from Indonesia” card, too.
What a coincidence, I’m about to release a photographic record of my love affair with Olivia Munn. It consists of nude photos of me and a restraining order
This movie had a handlebar mustache last week but decided this week is about chops.
“Caprice” is a wonderful word. I wish i had more opportunities to use it. No i don’t, it’s shit.
This exciting news just made me spit fair trade coffee all over my anthology of David Foster Wallace footnotes.
Sweet Jesus Fek’, I hope this Jenith of Brandywine elf hunter extrordinaire is worth it. That was terrifying.
Aw look, the auction was held on Valentine’s Day, that’s sop precious it makes me want to drown a kitten in a vat of microbrewed stout.
I think they should go with their first title, (1460) Days of Lenore.
The twist at the end of the film is that Harold ends up in a new relationship with a girl named Squiggy.
there is also humor
Are hipsters allowed to laugh if it’s not ironic?
mrs portman is wearing a hipster ramones t shirt. Gabba Gabba hate.
I’m so cool that I’ve already seen this movie’s remake.
[casts Mist of Melancholy on Fek's lvl 70 dwarf in LOTR, he is overcome by ennui and writes about his miscontent]
…Shapton crafted a fictional estate auction catalog full of personal items and photographs from the four-year romance between a male photographer and a younger food columnist.
Is it just me or does that sound like the stupidest thing to be put to print since Stephany Meyers last assault on humanity? I hope this ass dies along with the Gray Lady.
‘
I’m confused —
What exactly is ‘upper-class hipster’ about the synopsis? Is it in archaic prose — you haven’t read it, you’re bashing something based on a review? From the sounds of it, it has absolutely no connection to anything Hemingway has ever done, never mind his six word story.
And I only mention this because you’re fluid with using class distinctions as a way to criticize art, or an attempt at art — but how exactly are you paying for your forty thousand dollar a year tuition at Columbia for their MFA in writing program?
Don’t worry FF220, we’ve got distinct fluids for all classes— you know what I mean— but seriously— no really— what are em dashes for again?
What’s upper class hipster? Um, a male photographer and female cake columnist who are into street fashion and jewelry? As for the connection to Hemingway, they’re selling the lost artifacts of their relationship, just like the mother in Hemingway’s story, “For sale, baby’s shoes, never worn.” She’s selling the baby shoes because she doesn’t need them, they were never worn because something happened to the baby, get it? You really don’t see the connection of writing about relationships through their artifacts? As for how I’m paying for my tuition, you’re looking at it, plus lots of loans, like everyone else whose parents don’t pay their tuition. As for the “bashing” and moreover, relax, dude. I’m just having fun with the concept. That’s what we do here. It’s not meant to be taken as “ARGHH I HATE THIS AND NOW I’M GOING TO DESTROY IT!” Unless I’m talking about Jerry Bruckheimer. Usually it’s just a jumping off point for humor. Did I not begin the post by saying how much I liked Greg Mottola? You think I’d be able to make these jokes about hipsters and Dave Eggers and McSweeney’s if they weren’t things I’m intimately familiar with?
*takes deep, long drag off American Spirit*
In conclusion, FF220, let’s not have another turgid discussion about categorical imperatives.
Em dashes, from wikipedia: ‘The em dash (—), or m dash, m-rule, etc., often demarcates a parenthetical thought or some similar interpolation…Similarly, it can be used instead of an ellipsis to indicate aposiopesis, the rhetorical device by which a sentence is stopped short not because of interruption but because the speaker is too emotional to continue
…The em dash is used in much the way a colon or set of parentheses is used: it can show an abrupt change in thought or be used where a full stop (or “period”) is too strong and a comma too weak…’ This is what em dashes are for.
The chances a male photographer and a cake columnist are upper class is really, really unlikely. Just about everyone is into fashion and jewelry, especially a photographer.
The connection to the Hemingway story is really casual, and I guess I thought too casual to be even mentioned.
Yeah, okay, you are familiar with these things, hence the good natured humour, good point. I am relaxed but it’s irritating to see hipsters continuously bashed as a ‘horrible condition of society’ by people who can very easily fall into their own niche category of ‘horrible condition of society.’ We get it, hipsters are shit, we get it, internet posters are shit, everyone gets it.
The difference is, you’re assuming a photographer and a cake columnist aren’t coming from a money background, whereas I am. But hey, potato, potahto, the throwaway “upper-class” modifier is sort of beside the point anyway. And the connection to the Hemingway story seemed obvious to me, plus I was using it to enhance the flowery description as parody. But you don’t think it’s funny to rip on hipsters, so obviously there are a number of areas in which we disagree.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DECONSTRUCTING A THROWAWAY CAKE COLUMNIST JOKE?
We even have a commenter on this site who’s an actual fucking expert cake designer. While you’re busy missing Hemingway references and overusing em dashes, she simply brings the funny like everyone else and goes about her day.
I’m not arguing that this makes you a bad person or anything, but it does suggest that you’re a humorless one.