While I was over on PerezHilton.com refreshing every five seconds waiting for some important insight on the human condition (I kid, I kid. Please, put down the truncheon), I found this awesome German beer commercial starring Mickey Rourke.  Disregarding the fact that the ad is for non-alcoholic beer, which, even if it tasted amazing is basically the beverage equivalent of a hot girl without a vagina, Mickey Rourke turns in another fine performance.  He plays a foul-mouthed, tiny-dog sporting version of himself who goes into a hotel bar, whereupon the bartender sneaks him a non-alcoholic beer, presumably to keep him from gettin’ sh*tfaced and tearin’ up the join like my uncle Sal.  Psst, hey, Germans, I don’t know if this reputation for trickery is a stereotype you want to perpetuate, you sneaky Jew-killers.

Bottom line, I will now begin every toast with, “Here’s to tiny dogs and the Goddamn revolution.” Whoa, did anyone else just envision a Che shirt with a Pomeranian in a beret? …Just me, then?

mickey-rourke-parrot

AFTER THE JUMP: The Tiger Woods “Slap Her With a Dick” Remix.

Dear Nike: Putting Tiger Woods in a commercial with no diagetic sound is the best decision you’ve ever made.

-Thanks to Jim for the tip