
Brendan Fraser, one of our nation’s finest actors, has a new movie coming out, 
Fraser: “I needed a bigger butt on account of there was going be a lot of physical comedy. I get thrown around a lot in the movie. But let’s just face it, it’s funny. Kids love it. Adults love it. They’re like, ‘Ha-ha, look! Brendan Fraser, the guy who was really buff in all those action movies, has gotten fat.’ I don’t know the number of pounds I gained because, in my real life, I don’t step on scales. I don’t believe them. I’m like, ‘You’re a liar.’”
Haha, you got us, Brendan Fraser! The whole time I was watching you get sprayed by skunks and shout “Miley Cyrus!”, I was thinking, “Haha, this is really funny because he used to be buff! How do they come up with this stuff!?!” No, It’s a good thing you gained all that weight. A skinny guy getting trapped in a Port-a-potty? Preposterous. For your next film, you should put on an afro wig and get hit in the groin with a soccer ball. People will applaud your transformation. It would really turn the Brendan Fraser mystique on its head.






NUMBER 3 COMBO WITH A DIET FUCKING COKE! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE MORE PLAIN!
Porn knock off, Furry Entrance.
You Can’t Escape….The Furry
No one involved with this has heard of furries and sees this as a bad idea? It reminds me of Denver’s CW affliate, Channel 2. They insist on branding themselves as “The Deuce” and even say things like “Bird Rapists in Your Neighborhood? Find Out Tonight at 9, when this story Drops exclusively on The Deuce!
Also, misspelling “heard” as “herd” makes me think that “herd” is the appropriate term for a group of furries.
If I could Photoshop, I would present Michelle Rodriguez riding shotgun, jaw unhinged, in the first picture. Fast and Furryious. Boom.
BF’s weight gain = McFlurry Vengeance.
I like Tobey Maguire angry. He’s like Prince in Purple Rain. It’s like looking at a weealy wealy angwy mouse.
*pats Tobey on head, takes his wallet*
Michelle no like he not Tarzan
Finally, the studio puts out a prestige picture!
The only good things to come out of Brendan Fraser’s movies are Rachel Weisz’s breasts and lips
He was really good in The Mummy.
What the fuck happened. He must have contracted Vin Diesel syndrome.