Well excuuuuse me for trying to make this both boob-filled and relevant.

Well excuuuuse me for trying to make this both boob-filled and relevant.

Entertainment Weekly claims an exclusive that a Jackie Kennedy script once set to be a Spielberg movie for HBO, will now star Rachel Weisz and be directed by her husband, Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler, Pi).

Jackie, written over period of nights and weekends by Noah Oppenheim, catalogs the four days between JFK’s assassination and his burial, showing the beloved Jackie at both her most vulnerable and her most graceful. Oppenheim heads Reveille’s unscripted department [ie, reality TV] and previously served as the senior producer on The Today Show, running the 7 a.m. hour. Aronofsky will direct and produce.

I’m a huge fan of The Wrestler and I know Aronofsky’s got skillz, but a movie about a famous lady grieving while exhibiting “vulnerability” and “grace” (as well as “poise”, I’m sure) sounds like about the most boring thing ever.   What they should do is hire Troy Duffy to direct and make this an Inglourious Basterds-style, alternative history revenge flick with RFK and Ted Kennedy as the leads.

TEDDY: Hey, er ah, Rawby: you gawt ya fackin’ gun lawcked an’ fackin’ loaded?

ROBBY: Ya gawddamned right I do.  I even picked up a new one from Tawmmy down at the hahbah.  Now let’s go get these hahd ons that killed owa brothah.

*they cross themselves, kill everyone in super slow motion, put pennies over the corpses eyes*

Fin.