Opening this weekend:
Green Zone
Despite this looking exactly like one of those boring-ass Bourne movies, it’s been getting pretty good reviews, and actually sounds kind of interesting. I’d say that’s a good thing, but I guarantee if it does well, studio execs are just going to interpret its success as “See? Audiences love shakey cam, ROFLJO!”
She’s Out of My League
I’m not the best spokesperson for the feminist point of view because I think all women should stay in the kitchen baking me pies and rubbing oil on their tits, but seriously, if you’re a boring douche like Jay Baruchel, you get to date a boring, mediocre-looking chick. In all honesty, I can’t think of a concept more tired than this one, and there are a lot of tired concepts out there. As many as there are tired puppies, at least.
Remember Me
This looked like a lame (and hackneyed) glorification of rich, whiny NYU asswipes even before I heard about the Secret Dwarf Hooker ending (don’t click that unless you want a spoiler). The only reason I’d consider seeing this is to sit in the back, and every time Emilie De Ravin came on screen, shout, “CHAAAHLIE MOY BAAAAIBY NOOOOOOOAAAAAARR!”
And yes, that’s 100% phonetically accurate. Trust me, I know what an Australian girl shouting “No” sounds like.
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I’ve got tickets to a 9:11 screening of Remember Me tonight.
NYU asswipes cost $7.50, but are going up in price %10 next semester.
Ok, so sleepy puppy had sneezing panda as a related video. I get that.
But why does sneezing panda have “Miley Cyrus pole dancing at Teen Choice Awards” as a related video?
I love how the picture leads of the trailers look like someone is forcing
Jason BourneMatt Damon in Green Zone to watch that abomination Remember Mebecause pandas are allergic to whores
OOOOOOHHHHH – “WKND” = “WEEKEND”.
That woulda kept me up all night.
The Green Zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.
Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Listen Betty, don’t start up with your Green Zone shit again.
[slides Donk a piss boot]
spoiler alert: all of these films will suck donkey hodey balls
<< thinks Donk is in for one helluva happy wknd
Well then, looks like I’m going to the movies after all.
Also looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop masturbating on subways. Their foot longs are only $5 now, it’s fiscally irresponsible not to!
Pandas are so not allergic to whores, they tip the best. At least the robot kind
If I see one more freaking commercial for the Shes out of my league turd I am going to go postal. Which will be so easy in Texas. Everyone has a gun.
weekend preview: Donk will do exactly what his profile photo is doing
RRRAAAAGGHHHH… I HELP CREATE GREEN ZONES! JUST DON’T LOOK IN TENNESSEE!
*kills sushi chef with broadsword*
GGGRAAAAGGGHHHH… SAVE THE WHALES, HUMP YOUR WIFE!
Green Zone porn title, Peen Zone. Cuz Green Bone is gross.
Claire is slightly less annoying now that she’s a batshit crazy jungle dweller.
But it was still much nicer when she was MIA.
[nods head, pretends to have the slightest idea what attyBoo means]
@Donk–I think I beat you to that subway joke by a few minutes on the FD Facebook page. You may have perfected the interwebsite dick stomp.
I thought She’s Out of My League was a documentary about the guy who married Christina Hendricks. Did you ever know that he’s my hero?
Gabourey Sidibe will star in She’s Out of Mylanta.
Does Lobster Dog lap up premature jizz?
osWeK – that was actually already privately noted between the sexiest/drunkest/most craving a Sonoran hotdog FDers. We agreed that this means you and Donk must now get married.
‘Cause seriously, I have a mess on my hands right now.
So, if I lie and say I’m not a fan of FilmDrunk on Facebook, I don’t have to clean my boot prints off your dick with my lips, right?
BTK, you are so stalked.
BUAJAJAJJAJAJAJ! ONLY I CAN UNLOCK THE POWER THAT IS THE SONORAN HOTDOG!
ALL OF YOU BOW TO ME, AND MY MOUTHFUL OF BACON-WRAPPED HOTDOG AWESOMENESSSSSSSSSAH!
You wait your turn, Pauly. I’m still cleaning off Hokno’s dick. I’ll get to your bacon-wrapped hot dog when I get a chance.
I’m gonna hit the mid-west and east coast with Sonoran style hotdog stands called “Wieners by Beaners”
Well fuck, there goes my roadside male dance revue/fruit stands idea…
I think “Spic Stix” is still available…
Also “Wetback That Thang Up”.
Pauly, you stupidly gave up the recipe for Sonoran hot dogs when asked. I didn’t even have to use my feminine charms. I’m so going to take your comment to the dude who runs the local hot dog stand and make a mint off the beaners in this town. AND THERE ARE A LOT OF CHIHUAHUAS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.
No seriously, the chihuahua next door is named Taco and he’s pretty awesome.
I once ate a taco made with chihuahua, so small world. It too was awesome.
You’ll be Greenzo’d! You’ll all be Greenzo’d! (context)
Also, I’m pretty sure Viking Gore is actually just a hidden identity for Leaf Erikson.
I thought She’s Out of My League was a documentary about the guy who married Christina Hendricks. Did you ever know that he’s my hero?
Gabourey Sidibe will star in She’s Out of Mylanta.
Gabourey Sidibe got really excited about the soundtrack from “Beaches” until she found out the song, in fact, wasn’t “Did You Ever Know That You’re My Gyro?”
Underwear would be fine. If I were wearing any.
If I ever get to LA, I’m gonna go to Larry David’s sandwich place and have the Gabourey Side-o’-beef.
Lobster Dog’s Bisque is worse than his bite
Beek, you fool, I didn’t give you the secret ingredient……
MEXICAN JIZZ!
Muajajajjajajjajajajaj!
The next Greengrass/Damon joint will feature Matt Damon heading to the middle east to disseminate the New Testament and spread the good word to all those heathens. Bourne Again they’ll call it.
I can’t believe a film site linked to Roger Ebert as proof Green Zone was getting good reviews. The only thing less surprising than Ebert giving 4 stars to a movie that calls the Bush Administration lying murderers would be for Michael Moore to try to obscenely profit from calling Capitalism evil.
Green Zone is below 50% on RT and opened just worse than Ishtar. Next time could you actually do a little research on a crap movie before you tell everyone it’s evidently good? WTF, isn’t this supposed to be a movie site?
So, everytime Donk makes an Airplane! joke, a cast member dies?