Variety today reports that Will Smith has narrowed his next project down to two possibilities. One of those is Men in Black 3, the most anticipated movie of six years ago. You might wonder how bad the other one is for there to even be a choice…
Penned by Andrew Niccol, The City that Sailed revolves around a New York street magician who is unhappily separated from his young daughter. The girl, who moves to London, finds magic candles that make her wishes come true, with unintended consequences: The island of Manhattan separates from the continent and floats toward England, bringing her dad ever closer. [Variety]
Alternate title: Hope Floats. Anyway, at this stage, no one knows which way he’s leaning. But according to my exclusive source who was behind Will Smith at a Starbucks recently, he overheard Smith telling his agent, “I whistled for some crap, and when it came near, it was full of magic candles and the title was queer! If anything, I could say that this script was rare, but I thought, hell, I’ll do it. I’m rich bitch, who cares!”
*Roger Rabbits over to the corner*
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The Fresh Vince?
So, this is some sort of fantasy then ? Or does the black fellow end up in prison ?
The island of Manhattan separates from the continent and floats toward England.
Vince notices this from his Brooklyn window, farts, and casually resumes googling cat pictures.
You can bet Kurt Russell will escape before that island crosses the pond.
I knew Manhattan was a litte light in loafers.
If Smith’s character were from Wessex you could have used the title “Will Smith contemplates floating a duchy”. Yes, I am my own best friend.
That’s really selfish on that little bitches part. What she should wish for is to have Californis crumble into the ocean.
All of England rejoices as they’re finally able to get a decent bagel.
My magic candles are paper bags filled with dog shit… “I wish my Asian neighbor would stomp it out.”
I suppose this could be cool if the journey across the Atlantic took months, and the city descended into some sort of apocalyptic hellscape.
I AM LEGEND 2: AW, HELL NAW
A regular candle can make any of your wishes come true when you’re an arsonist.
The last time I had a magic candle everything backfired and all my friends had to hide in Brazil.
*Manhattan crashes into Great Britain*
MANHATTAN: EHHHH! Whatsamattayou? Watch where yous fuckin goin!
GB: I say, chap, I do believe it was you who barreled into my shipping lane.
M: I’ll gots your ship right heeeaa
*grabs crotch*
DA STAFE: Oi cunt, ya done scratched da ‘ood’a me new Audi, donnit.
*headbutts Manhattan*
*Manhattan sinks*
FIN
Seriously, has this been pitched before or something? It sounds familiar.
Sounds like a more retarded version of AD’s The Ocean Walker
I would have bet money that that bar was in Nebraska until I saw the sign saying they served crabs. No matter how drunk you get a crab, they’re still next to impossible to fuck without getting a pincer or two to the scrotum.
Great. Like Hoboken real estate wasn’t overpriced already.
@MiZ
I wrote about the project when it was first announced, today’s news is that it’s one of the candidates for Smiff’s next movie.
Snake Plissken would ride that island all the way just so he could go to Da Stafes bar and headbutt some cunts
There’s a “Manhatten flying/9-11 terrorist attacks” joke here somewhere, but I can’t quite put my dick on it…
My dad was a magician, too. When I was 8, he made himself disappear!
Vince, you could at least write about the casting news for Tyler Perry’s next movie.
My father was a terrible magician. He sawed my mother in half and THEN he put her in a box!
So basically its “Boat Trip” but somehow more gay?
Will should mix this movie up with Independence Day and the father and daughter could be reunited by Roman candles.