Robert Rodriguez showed off a two-minute sneak preview of Predators at SXSW recently, and now it’s online. Rodriguez produced, but the directing work was actually done by Nimrod Antal. We get to see a couple new things from the new version, namely a new Predator guy with an arm-knife dealie, a triceratops thing, and a disturbing lack of mega-jacked army dudes. Who are these slack-jawed f*ggots? Pff, next you’ll try tell me that having 24-inch biceps doesn’t help you shoot guns better. Whatever, dude. Also, is it just me, or has Laurence Fishburne has been on the Luke Wilson fat face diet?
“Take the blue pill, Morpheus, it will suppress your appetite.”
Opens July 9th. [via /Film]
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Is Danny Glover finally too old for this shit?
Upon reading the title, for a second I thought they were making a 4chan movie.
so i say to fishburn, “damn your face is big…damn your face is big.” and he says, “why’d you say it twice?”
and i say, “i didn’t.”
While I am whoring the fuck out of my blog, I might as well mention I wrote a review for Transformers! Get it on VHS TODAY!
Two hours of predators features me and Pauly at a Baby Gap.
The other day, I went up to Fishburne, I said, “Y’know I’d like a little head”. He said, “Me too, mine’s as big as a house!”
[Billy stares blankly]
…and a disturbing lack of mega-jacked army dudes.
That’s what happens when you let
gayshipsters server in the military!!!And by “server” I mean “serve”That’s right, I meant to write “server”To preempt:
Roman Polanski.
Waitress: Are you finished with your meal Mr. Fishburne?
LF: Morpheus.
Waitress: Tee hee hee, I know you were in the Matrix.
LF: No bitch, I said “more, please”
awe… I was expecting Chris Hansen
And Robert Rodriguez would like to welcome back Rose McGowan to the screen – as the screen.
…and a disturbing lack of mega-jacked army dudes.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure if Arnold went to mid air arm wrestle Brody, he would probably rip his arm clean off, then he would collapse on the ground and poop himself. And what’s this fucking tie business?
The only thing hipster armies shoot is disgusted looks of abject mockery.
“Ooh, nice plasma cannon. What is this, nineteen eighty seve-*face blown off*
With these bunch of sad sack pussies, the pressure will be on the predators to kill them before they kill themselves.
So I says to Robert, “Jeez you got a big pussy, jeez you got a big pussy.”
and he asks what I’m talking about.
“Adrian Brody you dumb faggot!”
*takes a dip, turns into a sexual Tyrannosaurus, runs away*
Someone please, replace the PRedator with Gaby Sidibe, and let the laughs ensue. I cant do that stuff on my own
Well, Adrien Brody starred in a Roman Polanski movie.
So, while he’s not the toughest guy in Hollywood, he does have experience dealing with Predators.
Instead of being badass like Arnold and saying something like “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”
Brody prefers the approach of “If I bleed, I might faint and wet myself.”
Predators should always stay downwind of Adrien Brody’s nose, or else he’ll smell you coming from a mile away.
If it bleeds you can fuck it and not get it pregnant.
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Can any writer in the world come up with a storyline involving Predator and Alien that doesn’t involve either hunting humans?