The trailer for The Twilight Saga New Moon hits tomorrow, and I kid you not, they released a 10-second teaser for it today. That’s right, it’s a trailer for a trailer. But in just 10 seconds they manage to squeeze just about everything you know and love about Twilight — Edward and Bella acting all emo about their profound love affair even though they never seem comfortable together, Taylor Lautner with his shirt off, and some weird/bad Stephenie Meyer dialog:
JACOB: “I’m gonna fight for you… until your heart stops beating.”
Uh… until your heart stops beating? So basically you’re gonna wait until Bella dies and then go get wasted with your werewolf buddies and pee your name on stuff and chase tail? I mean, that’s understandable, it just doesn’t seem like that romantic of a thing to say. Between this and Edward refusing to turn her into a vampire, it seems like a lot of this story is people waiting for Bella to kick off so they can go back to having fun again. Anyway, Happy New Year, Twihards.
Ha, I bet you didn’t know a cat could operate a camera, did you. (Thanks to Jacktion! for the pic)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
So my best friend from the 80′s apparently died today and I keep telling everyone to chill b/c he’s obviously gonna come back as a kick-ass vampire . . . MLILB!
The Lost Boys were the original Emo Vampires. FMLILB.
This is like having a shit-flavored Hot Pocket.
Redundant.
I can think of at least two things better than that 10 seconds I just watched. Oddly, they are bother sexual…and are the same length in time.
Do Twilight movies really need trailers?
Anyone who’s going to see the movie was already going to see it.
The Mighty Feklahr is certain New Year Twihard Girl is filming a trailer in her trailer.
“…Edward and Bella acting all emo about their (?) even though they…”
Oh I get it! Vinky made us a fill in the word game, ok, ok, me first;
raging ass herpes
For fucks sakes, Twihards. Rent Near Dark, at least Kathryn Bigelow knows what she’s doing.
…irresponsible Beanie Baby collecting…
…non lubricated assplay…
Where’s Bonnie Tyler when we really need her?
I’m pretty sure that was the best Twilight New Year’s party ever.
…public fight at Paco’s taco tuesday party when Belle looked at the Messican janitor for too long…
They should release the trailer in 10-second segments, with a new one sent by email every week and call it “E-Clips”.
/marketing genius
“I’m gonna fight for you until your heart stops beating” is the laziest EMT’s creed.
You know what sparkly, gay vampires really love?
Fried chicken.
Goddammit Vinky! You’re no fun.
[pouts, slinks off]
I’m holding out hope that this film is actually set in 1939 and ends with Belle and Edward boarding a train for Warsaw.
Wow, Stinky, if it was a vampire holocaust, we could call it Shindler’s Pissed.
I think it is fitting that those abstaining vampires tease, then tease some more. Thats their nature
JACOB: “I’m gonna fight for you… until your heart stops beating.”
I wish he said “I’m gonna fight you… until your heart stops beating.”
I’m gonna fight for you… until your Teddy Ruxpin’s batteries die.
Jacob: Come on! *hits Bella in the chest repeatedly* Don’t you live on me!!!!
Here’s a preview of the review I’m going to give this movie.
*drops pants, shits on floor*
Do you hear that rustle? That’s the sound of 100,000 twihards trying to jill off to that teaser on a loop
Do you see that cloud? That’s the dust said Twihards had to brush off their coochies before jilling off.
I haven’t seen 10 seconds of Eclipse acting this bad since the The Fast and the Furious