Making fun of Valentine’s Day is kind of like slap-boxing a retarded kid — fun and should be done as much as possible. With that in mind, here’s the latest from Landline TV, St. Patrick’s Day: The Movie. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from that concept, plus girls peeing and puking. And no, that’s not a euphemism for Ashton Kutcher. It is however, the title of one of my experimental films. It’s literal, yet also a metaphor.
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The worst part of St. Patrick’s Day is everybody who’s even remotely Irish running around talking about how Irish they are.
“My great grandpa was Irish, so I’m like 1/20th Irish!”
“OMG, me too! Let’s wear all black, get Jesus tattoos, and kill Russian mobsters!”
*sniff* It’s like being back in the old country!
The worst part of St. Patrick’s Day is everybody who’s even remotely Irish running around talking about how Irish they are.
Really? It’s not all those people puking on the train?
Drunken slap boxing of peeing and puking girls while blasting Dropdead Murphys and poudning green beer > slap boxing retards.
I’m half English, and it gives me no end of pleasure to strut around with a gigantic Union Jack and a t-shirt that says “Fuck You Too”
What I don’t get is why there’s no ritual sacrific of a redhead on St. Paddy’s Day. If the cops ask, just tell them you learned it from The Wicker Man
I hear Chino has a little Irish in her from time to time.
What I don’t get is why there’s no ritual sacrific of a redhead on St. Paddy’s Day. If the cops ask, just tell them you learned it from The Wicker Man
My cousins and I have been known to string English guys up on Paddy’s Day. And now I know where to find half of one.
I never understand comedians who are bad at faking drunk. Get drunk, you pussies.
Vince, “little Irish” is redundant.
Also, I call bullshit on that video, not one of those guys was a fireman, cop, or EMT.
BOOSH!
True story. I was at a pub in Dublin, and a local guy leans over to me and tries to start a conversation with, “So… do you hate the British?”
I can’t decide if it was the worst pick-up line ever, or the most creative pick-up line ever.
Along Burnsy’s train of thought:
Why the deuce don’t people ever actually puke in movies? If I wanted to see someone spit a mouthful of oatmeal onto the floor I’d start sucker punching your grandma.
Green beer is no longer all that creative no matter how many Tivos you have. Now the green bukkake martini that hooker drank last year was art.
Patty, if a guy asked me if I hated the British I would totally fuck him.
CROOOOW, stop watching Family Guy. There’s no excuse for saying “Why the deuce.”
I hear Chino has a little Irish in her from time to time.
I wouldn’t fuck an Irish guy with YOUR vagina!!
Here’s a protip all the way from Ireland this St Paddy’s Day (note, if you ever say St Patty’s Day, kill yourself). You’re not Irish. If you were born in America, have lived your entire life in America, then you are, wait for it, American. We don’t want you. Your ‘firemen, cops and EMTs’ aren’t Irish, they are American.
You have nothing in common with Irish people, even if you make up some shite about how much you like to drink Jameson or Tullamore Dew (neither of which you can pronounce correctly, on account of you being American).
Similarly, if you can’t speak Italian, weren’t born in Italy and don’t live in Italy, then it’s probably an indicator that you’re not ‘Italian’.
Jicked, while I appreciate you telling me that I have no cultural heritage, the Irish government sees it differently. I am eligible for an Irish passport and Irish citizenship.
Suck my bollocks.
So first off, this video needed about 900% more Flogging Molly.
Secondly, somebody get jicked a fucking piss boot. He’s getting cranky.
Geez, somebody’s potato has a blight.
Great, welcome to the gang. You have a passport, in that case you can understand Irish people’s intense irritation with gobshite Americans talking about how all American cops are ‘Irish’. Y’know, when they’re not.
Also until you can use the word bollocks correctly you’re still a fully fledged member of the gang. I believe “ask me bollocks” is the insult you were looking for.
Yikes. People pretending to be Irish aren’t that annoying.
@jicked
I hate Adrian Brody to but Arnold is just to old. Please calm down, drink a thick disgusting beer and cram a potato in it
This movie will make you shit……GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Erm, you can stick in a *not in the last paragraph there.
Also, St. Patty is my stripper name.
My song? Yep, “Like a Prayer.”
“Yikes. People pretending to be Irish aren’t that annoying.”
Leap Year was recently released in Irish cinemas. So it’s a touchy subject right now.
…ask not me bollocks?
No, you can still ask me bollocks. Think of it as a less sassy, more Irish version of “talk to the hand!”. Don’t swing your bollocks in someone’s face whilst using it though.
Whatever, I have Irish ancestry but the only Saint’s day I celebrate is St Joseph’s because he makes the best pastry.
That’s right, Crappy. Ask not what your bollocks can do for you, ask what you can do for your bollocks.
Jicked, I wasn’t “looking for” ask me bollocks. I was telling you to suck my balls, asshole.
I’m gonna invest in this movie so I can be Dublin my money.
He also makes delicious aspirin, InkyPee.
The only time I pretend I’m Irish is when I’m out of potatoes.
“jicked” makes a few fair points- I lived a couple of years in Newcastle, and it still annoys me when people assume that I’m cold, passionless and love crumpets. It happens to be true, but the assumption really pisses me off.
In all fairness, yes I’m Irish, but I’m not Irish Irish, and I don’t pretend to be. My father, who was born in Manhattan, didn’t seem to realize that he wasn’t born in Ireland. And since he passed, I may have picked up some of his passion for my heritage, but I’m not planning to reach the point where I talk in a brogue on a regular basis.
Jack!, I’m sorry about using that phrase, old habits. I do agree Family Guys sucks dicks. Futurama or GTFO.
And suck it, jicked. St. Paddy’s is as much about being Irish as Christmas is about being Christian. Both also happen to be a great occasion for dropping shots into beers and chugging them in your front yard
I just wear a green cardigan and drink Bailey’s.
Haha, I’m boring.
jicked, I have A Modest Proposal on how we can resolve this….
What, sore subject?
… talking about how all American cops are ‘Irish’.
How are you typing this from 1916?
If Irish people don’t want me celebrating my family’s Irish heritage then they can blow up their own buses and eat their own raw potatoes.
What’s next, jicked? I’m not allowed to pretend that I’m lazy and unemployed on Cinco de Mayo?
Shit, looks like he’s off to Riverdance.
Next thing you know, I’m not going to be allowed to get drunk and start fights in the Ireland section of Busch Gardens.
Ass up!
Long day of school so I know I’m late to the party but…
My grandmother had a baby out of wedlock possibly to a priest who taught at her Catholic nursing school and I go from shades of brilliant white to crimson and then back to white again when I am in the son. Trust me, I’m Irish.
I just don’t get why we celebrate this guy, he got rid of some snakes? big whoop, snakes are cool, plus people couldve eaten them during their potato famine. If anything, Samuel L. Jackson should get his sainthood, because he got rid of snakes on a motherfuckin plane, not some fruity island. If you think people get drunk on St. Patty’s Day, imagine the intoxicated masses on St. Sammy’s Day. IT’LL GETCHA DRUNK!
obviously, i’m crazy late to this discussion but as an actual 100% Irish girl living in the US (who’s b-day is no joke – on St. Patrick’s Day), I’ll admit that I’m mildly annoyed by people pretending to be Irish – any time of year. Not @jicked levels, but I do get it. That said..I work in the fire service and…even on the West coast there are in fact, a lot of Irish-American first responders.
In conclusion: SUCK IT ENGLISH!
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That is definitely awesome Irish. I was joking mostly but I do identify with my Irish heritage more than my other pale European ancestry but there is also an important historical precedent of American immigrants supporting their families (across many nationalities) that makes such a link very important. Of course St. Patrick’s day is a stupid excuse to wear green and drink but the concept of claiming your ancestry isn’t entirely flawed.
/history nerd