For some reason, the internet loves to speculate on what Steven Spielberg will do next. Once we crossed “take a huge bong load and play xBox” off the list, we wonder what movies he might direct. The latest guess is that he’s looking at Robopocalypse. If you’ll remember, that’s the as-yet-to-be-completed novel by Daniel Wilson, which takes the premise of Terminator and adds “realism.” Because Daniel Wilson is a Ph.D. in robotics, you see. Yes, that’s what Terminator was always missing. Did I mention Daniel Wilson has written some other books?
- How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion
- How to Build a Robot Army: Tips on Defending Planet Earth Against Aliens, Ninjas, and Zombies
- The Mad Scientist Hall of Fame: Muwahahaha!
- Bro-Jitsu: The Martial Art of Sibling Smackdown
And here I thought “bro-jitsu” was what those black guys were using to neutralize my extensive Aikido training. (Aikido: the useless martial art for dorks™). Anyway, Deadline reports that Dreamworks has hired Cloverfield writer Drew Goddard to adapt Robopocalypse, and that it’s a “serious candidate” for Spielberg to direct. But whatever Spielberg decides, it’s clear Drew Goddard has cemented his status as the go-to guy for obnoxious-people-run-from-stuff movies.
(Yep, this is the same Daniel Wilson).
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Bro-Jitsu was also considered for that new Jayden Smith flick.
Hobopocalypse will begin after the 2012 election.
are there going to be nazi robots?
Jar Fart Vince
If this doesn´t get me nommed I don´t now what will.
Never mind. I´ll shoot myself
Nice Carnagie Mellon bumper sticker, dude.
My friend Spike Lee has a Water Mellon bumper sticker.
And here I thought “bro-jitsu” was what those black guys were using to neutralize my extensive Aikido training.
No, that was called an ether rag.
OH MY GOD ONE SECOND IT DIDN’T HAVE A HAT AND THE NEXT SECOND IT DID HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN JESUS CHRIST I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING AND TYPING IN ALL CAPS !!!!!!!1111212223434211!!><
I thought ‘Child’s Play’ was Terminator with realism?
I don’t care if he’s directing traffic, just do anything but Indy 5.
I thought The Sperminator was The Terminator with real jism?
SFW, BTK.
Terminator with realism only lasts four minutes because the Terminator is a fucking robot and doesn’t miss when it shoots at you.
New Up.
I thought Runaway was The Terminator with real charisma. It starred Tom Selleck, you see. *makes dreamy eyes*
OK so I was thinking, when you send somebody back in time they have to be naked because you can’t send anything synthetic, the T-100 had real skin on it so that gave the loophole for why we had to look at Arnie’s assnick, however; if you wanted to bring stuff back, couldn’t Reese have keestered a plasma pistol or something? Or, how about shoving a laser rifle into a dead pig and wearing the pig like a backpack? Terminator killing pulse grenade in a brisket sitting in his lap?
[bong rip]
Ya’know?
Spielberg’s method of choosing a next project involves splitting a wheel into “aliens,” “robots,” “shit I’ve already done,” and “WWII”. he lets Georgie spin the wheel, otherwise he throws a tantrum and makes his neckpouch sore.