JEdgarHoover

Here are some more of today’s stories that, instead of covering completely, I’m just going to gently waft my farts onto:

Clint Eastwood in talks to direct J. Edgar Hoover biopic.  Ron Howard and Brian Grazer will produce, with screenplay by Milk‘s Dustin Lance Black.  Little known fact: the J in J. Edgar Hoover stands for ‘Jackin’ off in women’s underwear.’  |HollywoodReporter|

- RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s your favorite Clint Eastwood-directed movie?

Jason Segel and Ed Helms teaming up for Duplass Brothers movie.  Jeff Who Lives at Home has been described as “a Sword in the Stone-style quest movie about a stoner’s search for some wood glue. The story takes place over the course of one day, and follows two brothers, one a loser who lives at home (Segel)  and the other more together but overbearing” (Helms).”  So basically, a mumblecore version of Stepbrothers.  I still haven’t seen a mumblecore film, the same way I refuse to find out what “steampunk” means.  |SlashFilm|

Steve Martin to join Jack Black and Owen Wilson in birdwatching comedy.  “Based on a 1998 book “The Big Year: A Tale of Man, Nature and Fowl Obsession, it is about three men who try to outdo each other in a bird-watching competition to spot the rarest birds in North America.”  Said The Stafe, “Where Oy is from, it ain’t about ‘oo sees da fit birds, it’s about ‘oo knobs ‘er onda ‘ood of ‘is sazz wagon, donnit.” |HollywoodReporter|

Some dude from Twilight and some other dudes star in new Calvin Klein campaign aimed at abrasive gays. Seriously, this is weird. |Vulture|

John Krasinski’s set to star in Something Borrowed opposite Ginnifer Goodwin.  Looks like someone read my How to Write a Rom-Com article. |THR|

Korean pop star Rain set to star in remake of Sydney Pollack’s The Yakuza. It’s really good casting, because I imagine The Yakuza will be about Asian people. |Pajiba|

And finally, that autistic British ogre filmed herself watching a Twilight video again.

I don’t expect you to watch this.  In fact, if you got through more than 15 seconds, you’re a better man than I.  Why do I post this, you ask?  Because for some reason, people keep sending me her videos.  So if I don’t post it, I’ll get 100 emails over the course of the next week with “Check this out!” in the subject line and a link to a YouTube video.  And when I click the link hoping for a family of corgi puppies playing with a beach ball, instead I’ll get another yet another eye full of this gap-toothed cave creature’s fat face.  In the hopes of nipping that in the buuud, here, I’m posting the video.  Now please, let’s never speak of her again.