As promised yesterday when I posted the trailer for the trailer, today I have the full first trailer for Twilight Saga Eclipse. I keep forgetting that the main character’s name in this is “Isabella Swan.” It still gives me a good laugh every time someone says it out loud. Oh Stephenie Meyer, she’s probably writing her husband’s name on her trapper keeper in puffy paint right now. “I also wrote a second series, about the famous ballerina, Katerina Unicorn.”
At least the last Twilight had fighting and people turning into wolves (which Stephenie Meyer invented, obvi). In this one, it looks like everyone just stands around having heartburn. This movie needs Pepto-Bismol.
(“I’m gonna fight for you. Until your heart stops burning.”)
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Judging by Bella’s overbite, Edward often wishes his father was an orthodontist.
Isabella Swan? Well…? Is it, Stephanie Meyer? I’m waiting…
Isabella Swan? Well…? Is it, Stephanie Meyer? I’m waiting…
Meyer: “Do werewolves shit in the woods?”
Meyer: “Seriously – I haven’t resolved that point yet.”
Wait. Wait. Wait. How did he survive 9/11?
This movie needs RU-486
I’ll never understand Twilight. What’s the point of having vampires and werewolves if all they’re gonna’ do is be pretty and emo?
Supernatural beings are supposed to fuck shit up, dammit.
The problem with being in a relationship with a werewolf is there can’t be any silver lining.
Goddamnit, I’ve been busy, okay? Fine, I’ll find a group where I’m appreciated for my gags.
*Books reservation at gay Avatar sex party
is this the one with the CGI man baby ?
”I’m gonna
fight forburn you. Until your heart stopsburningfighting.”Now it’s a movie I might watch.
Supernatural beings are supposed to fuck shit up, dammit.
Sadly, “fucking shit up” is exactly what Edward Cullen does, just not in the way you’d like.
I’m going to tell a date I got this on DVD, throw in Underworld and watch the tears flow. Also, I’ll probably get an erection.
Didn’t Meyer also write a book about aliens? And it also glosses over anything interesting about aliens in favor of drama and love triangles?
SHE RUINS EVERYTHING.
Supernatural beings are supposed to fuck shit up, dammit.
When reached for comment, Dracula agreed, saying, “I vahnt the vorld to STFU about Tvilight.”
Interesting about aliens you say? Like maybe ANAL PROBES perhaps?
well at least this isn’t about some fat guy named robin who wears a hood
are there sausage mcgriddles in this? I assume with all the fatties that someone would bring a sausage mcgriddle. seriously, gimme a fucking sausage mcgriddle.
If it’s anything like Twilight, I bet there are still anal probes.
They allow you to express your love and remain ~pure~
I’ve been working on a similar saga titled Highlight. It’s about two brothers, one is a good little self-loathing Christian who touches himself shamefully, and the other is an asshole who gets all the girls.
Pass the Pepto this way. I think this trailer is giving me nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea.
*holds up bottle to camera, blasts shotgun shit on monitor*
My salon, Twilight E-Clips is the trendiest spot nowadays. We dont’ actually cut hair, but we’ll gladly fuck it up so you look like you haven’t showered in a few weeks.
Stephanie Meyer believes that her obtuse love triangles are acute.
If Stephanie Meyer got to drive the first flying car, she’d spend two hours telling you what color the seats were.
My salon, Twilight E-Clips is the trendiest spot nowadays. We dont’ actually cut hair, but we’ll gladly fuck it up so you look like you haven’t showered in a few weeks.
Donk, they don’t cut hair, but they still cut.
That was a total eclipse of the fart.
ok, so I honestly just had a quick meeting with my manager about how we’re going to have a meeting. I told him MLIT and he just gave me the ‘ol “ok sounds good we’ll meet then and go from there”
Remember when Edwards dad was in that movie with buff James Spader as the bad guy pseudo alien? Yeah….me neither.