jon-favreau-couples-retreat

For Universal, it’s starting to seem like going ahead with Couples Retreat was a bad idea for more reasons than just it sucking hot monkey taint.  Apparently, in the film, Jon Favreau’s character uses a woman’s picture for spank material, and now that woman is suing for $10 million.90067506.jpg

Irina Krupnik “only learned of defendants’ lascivious use of her photo in the film” after it was released in theaters — and was horrified to discover it was being used as a “masturbatory prop” for a character played by Jon Favreau.
Krupnik’s lawyer acknowledged that his client had signed a general release at the time the picture was taken, but said she’d never imagined it would be used in a “quasi-pornographic context.”

The movie is a comedy about four couples trying to work out their differences at a resort in Bora Bora. In one scene, Krupnik’s picture is featured in a fictitious brochure that Favreau’s “overweight, unhappily married male character” uses “to masturbate while his wife is in the washroom,” the suit says.
Krupnik was not amused to find herself being used for Favreau’s “much older, desiccated” character to “pleasure himself,” the suit says, noting that the scene “would be a crime if Mr. Favreau attempted it on a New York City subway.” [NY Post]

Look, I’m all for Universal having to pay society back for Couples Retreat, but I’m tired of these stuck-up broads acting like they get to decide who I can and can’t masturbate to on the subway.  Ooh, pardon me, your highness.  Just for that, I’m using your name as my new safe word.

*puts on ball gag*

*bends over as hooker aims 9-iron over ass*

*unclenches, releasing the Titleist I’d been holding since last session*

*hooker hits ball through window*

*she covers my junk with bird seed*

*gives hooker thumb’s up*

*hooker releases flock of hungry pigeons*

Mmmph!  Mmmph!

*hooker twists my nipples*

*I shake my head*

Mmmmph!  Mmmph!

*hooker removes my ball gag*

Irina Krupnik! Irina Krupnik!

*hooker shoos pigeons away*