Epic hardass day on FilmDrunk continues with a new trailer for Ong Bak 3. Tony Jaa stars, and as always, radiates feistiness and androgyny, like my favorite Thai naked wrestling partner, Cum-cum. You know the plot — people piss off Tony Jaa, Tony Jaa beats their ass, I ruin another pair of sweatpants. It’s refreshing, really. When you think about it, it’s a lot like Slumdog Millionaire. Kid grows up in a poor village, takes abuse from all manner of a-hole, later gets his revenge. Only instead of going on some gay gameshow so he can profess his love for some bitch he shared a tent with once when he was eight, he finds the guys who f*cked with him and throws them off the top of an elephant by the face. Advantage: Jaa. Can you imagine if someone had tried to turn Tony Jaa into a blind beggar? He’d shove the guy up an elephant’s ass then knee it in the kidney till it crushed the dude with its sphincter. Yes, the Thai are a proud people.
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It’s exactly like Slumdog in every way except that I would watch the fuck outta this.
Only in India is it romantic to fall in love with an eight year old girl in a tent.
“He’d shove the guy up an elephant’s ass then knee it in the kidney till it crushed the dude with its sphincter.”
Sounds like something Richard Gere would be into. OO-LA-LA!
I like to think that when Jaa is fighting dudes on elephants and swinging from their tusks that, in his head, “Tusk” by Fleetwood Mac is playing.
“Don’t say that you love me *punches dude in the face” Hay!”
“Just tell me that you want me *hip tosses dude* Hay!”
*swings from elephant’s tusk and kicks dude in the face*
“TUSK!”
I don’t remember the last time I actually could stand to read an Ong Bak post. I understand how you’re trying to be funny, and you really love Tony Jaa but I just don’t see how this is entertaining. More Katherine Heigl project updates, please.
This movie is completely inaccurate. The Thai people dont flip around kicking the shit out of elephants. Where are the prostitutes and the tranny’s? And that chain smoking man on the corner who tried to sell me a 13 year old boy?
In this one he swings around Gabourey Sidibe. her tusks? oh those are hardened slabs of white chocolate
Wouldn’t the elephant shoot him out like a ping pong ball?
Ong Bak is how I prefer your mom. Because she’s too lazy to be Ong Tup, you see.