I would like nothing more than for the world to stop paying attention to this mealy, fuzz-headed queef, but every other story this morning is just as boring, so here we go: James Cameron called Glenn Beck an A-hole at a junket a few days ago, as, obviously, they have differing views on global warming. So then Glenn Beck went on his show last night and did his usual act of amusing the sh*t out of himself without ever actually saying anything the least bit funny or interesting, put on 3D glasses and called James Cameron a “smurf murderer.” Hilarious and interesting, right? F*ck yourselves.
You can watch the segment below if you hate yourself.
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Who’s more smug, Beck or Cameron?
People know this guy converted to Mormonism, right? Like, chose it willingly at an age after one has supposedly developed the capacity for reason. Nothing against my Mormon friends, who are mostly all great people, but it’s one thing to be born into something, and another to think, “Hey, this whole no alcohol or caffeine thing and the Garden of Eden being in Missouri sounds pretty great.”
[via /Film]
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Yeah, but if you had to side with one, who would it be? Remember, there’s always a 3rd option.*
*.45 ACP
Glenn Beck is a national treasure. And now I’d like him to return to his home country of Rectallumpia.
Pass the pistol please.
Also, the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. It’s called Busch Stadium, bitches.
*strips naked, sprints into street*
BASEBALL’S HERE! GO CARDINALS!
they told him about multiple wives and he was like, “mmk, not bad, but how many filipino boy sex slaves can we have?”
Holy Fuck! It looks like Doc Brown and Old, Rich Biff Tannen are in that banner pic.
I’d like my 3:24 back, please.
Tell me Garcon, can I get this mealy, fuzz headed queef with a side of braised radicchio, maybe raisins and pine nuts ?
SOLD, GOOD SIR !
Burnsy, the garden of eden is filled with drunk fat guys in the bleachers that stole my homerun ball when I was 12?
You had an early Bar Mitzvah, Jirish? Should’ve been 13.
and the Garden Of Eden is 110 degrees? and filled with people who are always Shushing and saying sit down?
I’m not sure, I was drunk. I remember waking up in pain, is that normal?
Did Cameron get the memo that A) the 2010 Oscars already happened and B) criticizing Glenn Beck wouldn’t help Avatar win Oscars?
There’s only one way to solve this: THUNDERDOME. Two men enter, one man leaves. Or maybe they kill each other.
Either way, we’re down a douchebag or two and we all win.
When I see things like this I often find it difficult to stop myself from dismissively wanking much to the confusion of those around me. Well excuuuuuuse me, what is this? Some sort of church?
*checks name tag*
Oh, right. It’s a hospital.
*sanitizes hands, puts on gloves, continues dismissive wank*
Officer: 38 year old male, Smurf. Dove to his death this morning from that huge freakin’ tree.
Glenn Beck: Does James Cameron have an alibi?
Officer: Yes sir, he does.
Glenn Beck: Then it looks like he had a serious case…
*Puts on 3D glasses*
…Of the blues.
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Somebody needs to fuck Glen Beck in the mouth.
Rachel Maddow holds the round cards. Olbermann refs. Letterman does the postfight interviews.
Being a Republican pundit is the single greatest get-rich-quick scheme I’ve ever seen. If I were American, I’d become one just for the money.