(Tentatively starring Tom Hanks and Autofellatio Walrus)
I know this is meant to be a comedy site, but when I say that Warner Bros has bought a treatment for Leonardo Da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever, I stress that I am not making this up. Imagine the Da Vinci Code if Tom Hanks was actually Leonardo Da Vinci.
The project from producer Adrian Askarieh re-imagines Da Vinci as a member of a secret society who falls headlong into a supernatural adventure that pits the man against Biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels. Think “National Treasure” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” by way of “Clash of the Titans.” [THR]
If they don’t reimagine this drawing as an eight-limbed, CGI monster in 3D I will eat my own sh*t.
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The League of Extraordinary Gentile Men.
The hidden fortresses are where he keeps his young male servants.
Spike Lee demands it be called Souljas of 4eva.
I am guessing that fallen angels won’t have wings…so they will be forced to walk and thus start…
THE FOOT CLAN.
Think “National Treasure” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” by way of “Clash of the Titans.”
I was about to say that “so-and-so from Raiders is outraged to be mentioned in the same breath of those other two movies” and then remembered that everyone involved has since whored themselves out
Mouths. Will. Fart.
Donatello or GTFO.
So the movie is going to have Nic Cage’s forehead battling Nazi’s over the decedent of Christ in the times of ancient Greece???
The Vitruvian Man’s hidden fortress is a Technodrome made out of wood and canvas
Based on the description, when anyone mentions the Da Vinci code in this movie, they mean “Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, Start”.
I love how he’s trying to sell his movie, and he says “Think National Treasure.”
Now all I can think of is anal sex between 2 retarded monkeys and suicide. Or is that what they were going for?
What’s the etiquette you find a fallen angel? Do you pick him up, or do you wait for Life Alert?
*Get’s punch in the balls*
I like how they mention National Treasure instead of just spell it out “we are copying the Da Vinci Code”
HANKS: Pentagram? The Seventh Seal? Egad, Autofellatio Walrus, do you realize what this means?
WALRUS: MMMMMMPPHHHHH, MMMMPPPPHHHHHH,[cough], MMMPPHHHHHHH
HANKS: ……….precisely.
Pope leaves meeting with Cardinals, walks into bathroom; sees Leonardo in drag as Mona Lisa urinating standing up.
Pope – Oh exscuzzi bambina- Dio Mio! che cosa è questa non-senso
record scratch, laugh track
V/O – This Holiday season… His Story becomes History
The soldiers of forever take a long time to get mobilized.
They’re not scrapping the project, just rewriting the script. In this one, Feldman’s taking Haim to his funeral, but things keep going wrong and they end up taking multiple trips.
License to Drive 2: Re-Hearse
Fuck… wrong post.
bottom pic: Corey Haim after his prescription pill cocktail
there’s no way that’s too soon right?