GRANDPA STALLONE’S NEW TATTOO
03.18.10
The Expendables just released two new posters, the one on the left, which seems to be telling us that they’ve really “brought out the big guns” for this one, and the one on the right, which looks like Stallone will be the guest tattoo artist on the latest episode of Miami Ink. “You’re not getting this because of a midlife crisis, are you? Because that’s no reason to get a tattoo. Hold on for a second, I have to do five tons of HGH and make a movie with Dolph Lundgren.”
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Are you still buying Stallone as an action here?
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/monsieur_lazhar__ver2_C-Tates-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Julia-Roberts-and-Armie-Hammer-in-Mirror-Mirror-2011-Movie-Image-600x354-150x150.jpg)
That poster is just lazy. They didn’t even finish spelling Lipnicki.
You can tell that’s not Stallone’s work because it’s not spelled “Exspendabbus”.
Da Stafe chooses the weapon in the middle.
THE SKULL BECAUSE HE’S BALD AND LIKES TO HEAD-BUTT
Is that Robocop’s gun?
This poster is bullsh!t b/c everybody knows da Stafe’s favorite weapon is a shoiny sazz wagon.
I think I saw that Stallone tat on Sandra Bullock’s replacement.
That’s a lot of fucking Geritol
Expendables: The diaper for the EXXXTREME Grandpa!
The poster on the left is just a ripoff of Ted Nugent’s personalized christmas card.
The poster on the left is what it looks like when Michael Bay’s luggage goes through the xray machine at the airport.
Hey is that Roboc-
dammitt, Donk.
He doesn’t seem so badass when you realize he eats dinner at 4:30, drives 35 in 55 and gets up 3 times a night to take a piss.
It’s supposed to read “Stallone, Statham, Lipitor, Lundgren, Couture, Austin, Crews, and Rourke”.
The fuck? Was Kurt Russell to busy filming Escape from Shady Acres Assisted Living to make it out?
A fuck-load of guns in probably the best way to blow a social security check.
Hmmm. My “o” went missing. Those elderly, sticky fingers, I tell you what.
MIZ: why did you post Bea Arthur’s last words?
Speaking of the elderly and sticky fingers, Stallone and Lundgren better steer clear of the batteries at Walgreens if they don’t want to be incarcerated during the premiere.
Bea Arthur is dead? NOOOOOOO! Please, God, take Jason Biggs instead!
Whoa. I skipped straight to bargaining. Is that normal?
Oy! New up . . . Cunts!
if each of their Rascals they’re moving around on arent tricked out like the poster this will be false advertising
Stallone made Rocky Balboa as a midlife crisis. The tattoo is just so he can prove he was in a movie to anybody under age 30.