Sorry for the crappy picture quality, folks, rest assured I’ll continue to follow this project as it develops, considering it’s like my most delusional pot brownie fantasy come to life. So far, all we know is that it’s currently in development, and the director is Rob Green. Here’s the synopsis (cue bodies hitting floor):
AD 160. The Romans occupy Britain, and the great Hadrian’s Wall divides the land, built to keep back the northern warrior tribes, and something far more dangerous; a clan of savage wolf-like creatures which roam the lowlands.
Word reaches Governor Flavius that the Emperor has decreed that new, more fearsome beasts should be captured for the games. The ambitious Governor, having heard rumours of the fierce wolf-beasts beyond the great wall, senses an opportunity to win favour with the Emperor and even a place in the senate.
The heroic Centurian, Titus, is tasked with hunting and trapping the wolf-creatures. Titus and his legionaries track the beasts to their mountain lair and discover a warrior clan who transform at will into mighty, armour clad werewolves. In a fierce battle, the beasts slaughter half of the legionaries. Titus and his surviving men escape and ensnare the pursuing werewolves.
The Governor is delighted he has his prized new fighting savages, but Titus realizes that anyone bitten by a werewolf is cursed to become one of their kind. He warns the Governor that the werewolves pose a grave threat if they increase their numbers. Titus’s reward for challenging the Governor is to be stripped of his rank and thrown into the arena where the beasts’ savagery will be tested. [AV pictures via QuietEarth]
Producer: So you say it’s like Gladiator?
Rob Green: Right.
Producer: And the main character…
Rob Green: A gladiator. Who used to be a centurion. But has a falling out with the emperor.
Producer: Just like in Gladiator?
Rob Green: Right.
Producer: But you say there’s werewolves?
Rob Green: Exactly.
Producer: And who fights the werewolves?
Rob Green: The gladiator. It’s his punishment. From the emperor.
Producer: Punishment for…
Rob Green: Trying to warn him.
Producer: Warn him?
Rob Green: About the werewolves.
Producer: And because the emperor disagrees…
Rob Green: The gladiator is cursed to fight. Against the werewolves.
Producer: *Takes bong load* I like it. *cough*
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
“I LIKE TURTLES!”
“…thanks…you’re a great werewolf.”
If this isn’t in 3D I will lick my own balls.
And then scoot my butt across the carpet
Why doesn’t Hollywood just make “Roid-raged Klingon Werewolf Ninjas vs. Cyborg Jedi Vampire Pirates”, and be done with it?
“Roid-raged Klingon Werewolf Ninjas vs. Cyborg Jedi Vampire Pirates”
Sponsored by TapouT.
…and the Geordies, Scousers and Chav scum unite to steal copper wire from the Werewolves !
Producer: Who the fuck let Ken Loach in here ?
“Titus’s reward for challenging the Governor is to be stripped of his rank and thrown into the arena where the beasts’ savagery will be tested.”
I guess Titus was barking up the wrong tree!
*exposes genitals*
SPOILER: Titus gets bitten, kills the governor, lifts his leg on the mauled carcass. The final shot will be him howling at the moon in the Scottish highlands.
FIN
* starts printing Team Titus tee shirts by the vanful *
I don’t know about you tools, but I’m lychan thing idea.
The Romans soon learned that just as a monkey will throw its feces, a lychanthropy.
Oh boy, the suck of 300 meets the suck of Van Helsing. I don’t see how this could possibly fail.
Hey Titus. Watch out for that werewolf!
Werewolf?
There.
What?
There, wolf. There, castle.
/always good to break that out. I don’t know why they’re even bothering with werewolves. The Scots themselves are pantshittingly fearsome enough. Ask Bryce.
We all know that Romulus and Remus suckled from a wolf’s teat. What this movie presupposes is that maybe they didn’t. My theory is that the wolf was actually a werewolf.
Governor Flavius wears a giant sundial or GTFO.
Geez, a new idea comes out of Hollytardland and you crap on it. An old concept gets recycled, rebooted, sequeled to death, you shit on it. You’re all so negative. [stuffs kitten into garbage grinder, turns on, laaauuughs and laaaauughs]
TITUS: Looks like capturing those werewolves is coming back to…
*drops face shield on helmet*
bite me in the ass
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HOW ARE THEY GOING TO KILL THE WEREWOLVES WHEN COORS LIGHT WASN’T INTRODUCE UNTIL 1978?!?!?!?
Governer Flavius is the role Michael Vick was born to play!
Titus’ weapon of choice in the arena will be a rolled up newspaper – or scroll, if you want to avoid anachronism – and his war cry will be “Bad dog”, as he hits it on the nose.
I swear to god if the play “Who Let the Dogs Out” for the werewolves entrance music I’m going to neuter a jewish studio exec.
Peta members will throw paint at you if you wear wolf.
Titus and his legionaries track the beasts to
their mountain lairEast L.A. and discover awarrior clanGang who transform at will into mighty,armourbandana and wife-beater cladwerewolvesDay LaborersThere you go … fixed!
Love Always
Stephanie Meyers
At my signal, unleash Fala.
Wondering, if you can turn into an uber-wolf on your own devices, where is the downside? The traditional lychanthropic curse was just that because the werewolf couldn’t control that transformation into a blood thirsty beast every full moon, but being able to transform into a bad ass armo(u)red super wolf whenever the moment struck you? Downside? Bite me on the ass if’n ya want wolfy boy!
My wife was dragged away and raped by Roman soldiers while I was forced to fight Werewolves in the Coliseum. MLIGVW
Could please somebody tell that werewolf that he doesn’t need those faggety wrist blades when his claws reach twice as far.
This kind of film wont even make it to Australia. I guess I’ll have to settle for Kick Ass 8 days ahead of US release.
Titus studied under Cesar, so he doesn’t need weapons to settle these bitches down. TSST!
Monster gladiators V alien werewolves sounds better, dont you think? and by the way, Titus uses silver plates in the arena.