With movie studios literally optioning gum wrappers from the 50s, the only thing surprising about their plan to make a movie out of Gilligan’s Island is that it took this long.
[from Variety] Warner and Atlas Entertainment have begun development on a feature film based on the iconic CBS sitcom, which originally ran for three seasons between 1964 and 1967. With Brad Copeland (Wild Hogs) penning the screenplay… plans are for a contempo take [I loathe you, Variety writers] on the well-known premise and characters, with the studio and the Schwartzes’ [original producer and family] blessing Copeland’s initial idea for the screenplay. Producer Charles Roven says he’s hoping to start production as early as next year, but won’t move forward on seeking a director or cast until the script is complete.
Oh boy, I can’t wait to see the Wild Hogs Guy’s “contempo” twist. My suggestion? Channing Tatum as Gilligan. Aight, look, y’all: firss things firss, we gah be findin areselves some food, son, (*unintelligible mumbling*) nah mean?
And for the Millionaire, you guessed it, P Diddy. He could even record a remix of the theme song:
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip…
“Ugh, yeah, c’mon…”
That started from this tiny port, aboard this tiny ship…
“Yeah, what? C’mon, ugh.”
The mate was a mighty sailin man, the skipper brave and sure…
“I miss you, Big, yeah, ugh, c’mon…”
Five passengers set sail that day, for a three hour tour…
“Three hours, y’all.”
A threeee hour tooour…
“Throw em up, yeah, c’mon.”
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed…
“Ugh, it’s rough out there, y’all, c’mon…”
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Yo girl, I’mma fix the hole in your poopdeck.
They need T-Pain and his Autotune, too. Because there’s a boat.
Yo Skipper, I’mma put my face between dis bitch’s tits, right? Make you a new motorboat.
Yo professor, you can make a radio outta coconuts, right? Can you make one outta deez nuts?
Lindsay Lohan as Ginger or GTFO.
And for the Millionaire, you guessed it, P Diddy
Seriously… tell me that role doesn’t have Robert “I Soaked My Legacy in Gasoline and Set It On Fire for a Payday” DeNiro written all over it.
If they don’t try to cast someone from Lost, I’ll eat my shoe.
(But not one of the expensive ones.)
Yo Mary Anne, I’mma call you Harley because yo pigtails is like handlebars.
Please let this be a sequel where The Skipper chases a bunch of crazies around in search for a disappearing Mary Ann, but everyone ends up dead. I guess what I’m saying is that you’ve got my $12.50 for Gilligan’s Shutter Island.
Yo Harlem Globetrotters… I mean… Regards, Globetrotters of Harlem, if I can be of any assistance in helping you off this island, please just let me know.
They crash on Sandals and fuck their way through the natives.
*prays the island is Bikini Atoll circa 1945*
Lince, isn’t this your alma mater?
[news.yahoo.com]
Fek: Yes, it is.
1. The Compton Cookout party in question was sponsored by a black comedian. And no one would’ve gotten in trouble if the invitation hadn’t been so unfunny and poorly written.
2. The people that throw those rallies are idiots. One guy puts a noose or a hood somewhere and they throw a big fucking rally. Duh — the guy who put a noose or a hood somewhere most likely doesn’t represent a secret cabal of racists, he’s probably just some asshole who gets off on all these misguided, PC dipshits throwing a big rally about him. From there it’s a never-ending cycle. Oh college.
I think it’s great, though, that Corey Matthews is speaking out against this intolerance. Topanga and Mr. Feeney must be so proud of him.
Rally fries are the best. Hands down. Seriously.
I feel like Vinnie’s Diddy theme isn’t being appreciated as much as it should.
The only thing that trumps that Diddy theme is the animated Bjork / Didddy gif.
Update: This gif.
Of course Channing Tatum would crash the boat. He wants to be black so badly that he purposely forgot all those sailing lessons he had as a white child.
Seriously, though, putting a Klan hood on a Dr. Seuss statue is some hardcore forshak. No wonder you so messed up, Lince.
Klan Hood. Klan Hood?
Does it signify my manhood?
Minorities come and
Minorities go
Just leaving me
an intolerant schmoe
Wouldn’t change, if I could
Too gum darned attached to my Klan hood.
I think you are all missing the obvious casting choice for Gilligan: Jamie Kennedy. Nothing could be worse i.e. right.
Travolta as the skipper or gtfo.
my girlfriend is going to ucsd currently so i can tell you there has been one benefit of all of this bullshit- all her classes are canceled on Thursday. professors wanting to go to BS rallies FTW