Remember when the Avatard forums wondered if there were gays on Pandora (“while I watch the film, I can’t help but imagine that in the world of AVATAR, there’s no such thing as hatred, homophobia, or intolerance”)? Well, what gay nightclubs in South Florida presupposes is, yes. Yes there are gays on Pandora, and they have glorious shirtless gay dance parties (gays and Na’vi have that in common). Here’s the description from MiamiNewsTimes (via TheAwl):
Men, and the occasional guidette, danced to stock tribal house in varying degrees of undress. The place was a jungle. Literally. [Editor's Note: Not literally.] This wasn’t your typical circuit party, The Living Room in Ft. Lauderdale was in the middle of an “Avatar”-themed party. And it wasn’t the only one.
They painted the floor with fluorescent colors, and covered the ceiling with weedy netting to resemble a canopy. The typically scantily clad bartenders were scantily clad again, only bluer. Drag queens Na’vi-ly accessorized with head-dresses and day-glow makeup. The club even hired a face-painter to bedazzle the gays, gratis.
When asked why, of all the movies to organize a theme party around, they chose “Avatar,” Leonard got reflective. “The drama of the movie parallels the drama in the nightlife world,” he says. “Everyone’s calling the police on each other, liquor license inspectors, booking celebrities against each other.” [Ed. Note: Me-yow, *cat hiss*]
But, Jason Tucker, one of the organizers of Gaylaxicon, the annual queer sci-fi convention, doesn’t see the parties becoming ubiquitous. The mainstream still sees sci-fi as unhip, he says. And James Barrett, a former convention attendee, says that while in “someone’s fantasy-writing some poor human has already been fisted by a Na’vi,” the movie is not likely to explode as a fetish object in the gay community for that same reason.
I know they mean to reference “galaxy”, but “Gaylaxicon” seems to have a rather unfortunate laxative connotation. Anyway, here’s a riddle for you: if a gay Na’vi goes to a glory hole, what does he stick through the hole, his real wiener or his tail/brain wiener deal? Also: what did the gay Na’vi say to the other gay Na’vi at the Pandora-themed glory hole? “I c. you.” Okay I’ll stop.
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Gay Avatar nightclubs love music by Mo’by.
Gaylactus-con, the annual queer comic book convention is better.
It’s fun to stay at the ASPCA!
*sings* In the Na’vi…
*takes shirt off*
/I was going to play with the lyrics but after seeing the first verse rhymes “Where can you learn to fly” with “Study oceanography” I decided not to bother.
This wasn’t your typical circuit party
I went to a circuit party once. I saw one where a guy used a resistor before two capacitors in series to make a double-flash bulb.
Ohm my god, it was awesome. (get it? Ohm?)
if he uses the tail/brain thingy he can effectively gain control and ride him to the nearest Naughty Na’vi Navel club
Gay midget parties are better. They’re short circuit parties.
Wait, the organizer of an annual gay sci-fi convention has a last name “Tucker” and his first name isn’t Richard?
Fate can be cruel sometimes.
This is the only party that a gay will attend in order to bang pussy.
Eiffel 65 would like to thank this idea for single-handedly tripling their royalty checks.
When they sing “In the Na’vi”, they ain’t talking about enlisting.
What? That joke was made, like, two months ago? Damn my short-term memory loss
According to the bully who crammed me in this here locker, my birthday parties are annual queer sci-fi conventions.
Brian Setzer showed up to this party but then he wandered off.
Should have updated before posting…damn you, Man of Br0nze!
That is one fierce kitten! Meeooowuch!
Isn’t “Gay Avatar Sex Party” redundant?
There would need to be women at straight Avatar sex parties.
Did you run this post through an automatic comment attractor generator? I don’t care about the answer; I’m just thankful this exists.
And this makes perfect sense. According to my Na’vi –> English dictionary, “Jake Sully” translates to “power bottom.”
The Jake Sully sex party was sooo lame.
I went to a gay circuit party once. There were guyodes, capassitors, and you had to be quite a resistor to keep from being transformed. It was sponsored by Energizers nickel-cadmium division and it was simply re-volting
On a long enough timeline, Gay Avatar sex parties will eventually become the leading cause of deaths associated with complications due to pinkeye.
Well, let’s hope these Gayvatards aren’t like Puerto Ricans and don’t migrate to Orlando.
Shit’s gonna get crazy when they bust out the laser show!
For 20 beads you can have your picture taken with an albino leonoptyrx in front of a glowing backdrop that says Faa’abulous
The next gay Avatar sex party will be held in your backyard at 4 am.
Wouldn’t be a picture from a gay party if Chicago didn’t show up in it.
Something tells me it wasn’t hard to find somebody willing to paint white specks on gay mens’ faces that glow under black light.
The gay Avatar sex party was over when everyone blue their loads.
Chino, I heard the Sully sex party was a wheel good time
*dodges tomato*
Seriously though, with those braids everyone just blue themselves (thanks, Tobias)
There’s a club across the street from there called The Twilight Zone. I went in dressed as Rod Serling, but everyone else was dressed as gay vampires.
(picks up tomato from Crooow!) Are we sure this isn’t just an audition for the Blew Man Group?
Boy George was invited to this party but but declined on the grounds that it was too gay.
Gay Na’avi #1: So you went to that Gay Avatar Sex Party?
Gay Na’avi #2: Hellz yeah!
Gay Na’avi #1: What did you do there?
Gay Na’avi #2: Blew cats.
Gay Na’avi #1: I didn’t ask “Who went?” I asked…..ooooh, I see what you did there. You’re so bad!
Gay Na’avi #2: I know, right?
Even Lady GaGa thinks these queens dress funny. She is, however, very interested in touching “braids” with some of the patrons.
Roy Ashburn was seen leaving this party, but he only went in there to get directions.
Gay Blue Cats live 69 lives.
Gay blue felines are known as ass-pussy cats.
If you want more dancing at these parties, you just have to put tape on their feet.
Tom Cruise won’t be in attendance not because he dislikes the gays, but because he dislikes pussies.
Convincing your dance partner to untuck is referred to as “mining for unobtaintium”.
Looks like Ohio State janitors aren’t the only ones shooting their loads off at other guys these days.
Convincing your dance partner to blow you in the men’s room is referred to as “mining for unobcranium”.
Convincing your three dance partners to accompany you to the men’s room is referred to as “mining for unobtrainium”.
Convincing your dance partner to take one in the face is referred to as “mining for unobstainium”.
Convincing your dance partner to drink that appletini you spiked with rophynol is referred to as “mining for unobfaintium”.
Continuing to post terrible puns when there’s a new up is referred to as “unoblamewanium”.
The ‘HomeTree People’ featuring: a mustachioed Bull-dowser Operator, A Spicy Latino Pilot in drag, a Six-foot-tall sexually ambiguous scientist, the money hungry suit, a military colonel, and of course the half naked
Native AmericanNa’vi“while I watch the film, I can’t help but imagine that in the world of AVATAR, there’s no such thing as hatred, homophobia, or intolerance”
That poor homo was just peeking out of the closet with that comment to see if it was safe to come out yet. But seriously seacrest, just come out. Everyone already knows…
Gay Avatar < Squirt Locker