SOuthParkSeason13

Wow.  I told you guys to bring the heat last week if you wanted to win this South Park DVD set, and boy did you.  I’ll give you the winner up front, but just a warning, this week’s list of runners up is long and distinguished like my wang in a top hat.

Requisite Plug
“South Park: The Complete Thirteenth Season Uncensored” DVD and Blu-Ray hits stores this Wednesday (same day as the first episode of the new season) and you should buy the sh*t out of it. Never before have I been so tempted to keep a prize for myself.

All fourteen episodes from South Park’s thirteenth season are available in this exclusive three-disc set. Roll with the boys as they save the economy, the whales, and a bunch of dead celebrities, all while discovering the joys of fish sticks. For them, it’s all part of growing up in South Park!

For the first time ever, the DVD and Blu-Ray will include exclusive deleted scenes and the bonus features include “Inside Xbox: A Behind-the-Scenes Tour of South Park Studios” and free codes to unlock character and challenge levels in the “South Park: Let’s Go Tower Defense Play” game on xBox Live Arcade.  Episodes on the DVD version will be presented in widescreen format and the Blu-Ray version will be in full HD (1080p).

Boosh.  And I’ve got two of them to give away, so here are your two winners.  Thank God I didn’t have to try to choose between them.

First prize winner, Chareth Cutestory, for these comments:

[From Nick Nolte and Rip Torn should star in the Midnight Run Remake]
Chareth Cutestory says:
TORN: Yeah, me and Nolte here will take four a them crunchy gordito supremos or whatever you wetbacks are callin’ ‘em. And we’ll take ‘em

*draws pistol*

TORN: …to go

NOLTE: Aw, hell, you ol’ scuttlebutt. That’s a mailbox yer jabberin’ at.

TORN: You see pretty good…

*pistol whips mailbox*

TORN: …for a man with an eye swollen shut.

NOLTE: I’m over here, Rip.

—

[From Dane Cook Auditioned for Captain America]
Chareth Cutestory says: “Say what you will about his comedy completely lacking punchlines, he’s always been a great self promoter.”

That’s like saying, “Say what you will about this dog sh*t, but you gotta admit that it’s smeared everywhere.” [Ed. Note: One of the most profound FilmDrunk comments of all time]

—

[From R.I.P. Corey Haim]
Chareth Cutestory says: Great, now Krasinski’s definitely got the part.

And our co-DVD winner is Donkey Hodey, the hardest working commenter on FilmDrunk.

[From Asian Girls React to Monique's Hairy Legs]
Donkey Hodey says: What do Sarah Palin in America and Mo’Nique’s hairy legs in Japan have in common?
They’re both an easy way to lose an election.

[From Cove Director Helps Bust Restaurant for Serving Whale Sushi]
Donkey Hodey says:
Rook rike dey
*sungrasses*
Blowhole case open.
*YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH*

[From Possible Captain Americas]
Donkey Hodey says: That banner pic looks like a police lineup looking for a rapist at Duke.

Fantastic.

Honorable Mentions:

This Avatar producer letter parody from Road Warrior Queef is pretty solid.

I hope all is well with you. I just wanted to write you and say I hope you liked my previous comment and if you did and want me to win, please repost in the comment section of the latest COTW post and your friends who vote for the COTW, tell blacks, spades, crew with huge members, fart directors, special needs people, if everyone tells one or two of their friends, we will win and not f*cking pauly dangerously, or burnsy, or chino, I need independent comments to win like the ones you and I leave, so if you believe my post is the best comment of this week, help me!

I’m sure you know plenty of people you’ve worked with who are a-holes who troll this site, a writer, a sound engineer, please take 5 minutes and contact them. Please call one or two persons, everything will help!
best regards,

The Road Warrior Queef

From The Story Behind the Crazy Kanye Lady at the Oscars:

Michelle07 says: Why is Mrs. Garrett so made at Tutti?

From Nick Nolte and Rip Torn should star in the Midnight Run Remake:

CROOOOW says:
TORN: I told you, I want a god-damn cerveza with my gordita!
*pulls pistol*
NOLTE: Get him to throw in some cinnamon twists!
BUSEY (as the teller): I told you varmints to stop buggin’ me at work! Now scram on outta here!
*pulls sour cream gun from behind counter*
NOLTE: Looks like we got ourself a Mexican food stand-off
*pulls armadillo from sweatpants*

From Keanu Says Bill & Ted Sequel is Possible:

John’s Little D*ck says: This would be great for Alex Winter. I heard he’s really struggling as a sandwich artist at Subway. He insists on telling everyone about his 5 dollar foot long then points at his crotch and yells “Eat fresh f*ggot!”

From Gary Busey at the Oscars:

Stinky Pete says: Gary Busey shakes his head around like that to shoo away the cartoon bluebirds that have been circling it since December 1988.

From Gay Avatar Sex Parties:

ChinoMoreno says: It’s fun to stay at the ASPCA!

ChinoMoreno says: The Jake Sully sex party was sooo lame.

From R.I.P. Corey Haim:

Rislo says: At least he died doing what he loved.

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: 
Well, at least the unemployment rate went down.

From Twilight Eclipse’s Trailer for a Trailer:

Oski says: Jacob: Come on! *hits Bella in the chest repeatedly* Don’t you live on me!!!!

From Asian Girls React to Mo’Nique’s Hairy Legs:

Michelle07 says: Her ankles have a fade.

From Dakota Fanning Sings Cherry Bomb:

Burnsy says:
 This movie has made Dakota Fanning turning 18 make my joy of the Olsen Twins turning 18 look like Frankie Muniz’s career when he turned 18.

Yeah.  Thanks again to everybody for keeping this place interesting.