(Robopanda Chodin made this, and it is awesome)
I’m not gonna make a huge deal about this because I’m already half in the bag and in sports-watching mode, but The Hollywood Reporter screwed up my evening and announced that Marvel has offered Chris Evans the lead in Captain America.
Evans’ offer would include starring in up to three “America” movies plus “The Avengers” movies and appearances in several other Marvel movies. While an offer to star in “America” may seem like something you don’t have to mull over too long, one possible complication is that Evans is committed to co-starring in the Anna Faris romantic comedy “What’s Your Number?” Both are scheduled to shoot this summer. [THR]
Evans doesn’t offend my sensibilities on an aesthetic level like some of the other bitch-boy hair farmers they were considering, and look-wise, he’s probably the best candidate. There’s only the matter of him being tainted by being in a bunch of crappy movies like Fantastic Four, which was fantastically terrible. Also consider that this is a Joe Johnston movie we’re talking here, and he might do a rom-com with Anna Faris instead. That kind of says it all. That’s like a girl calling you to see if you want to go over and f*ck, and you have to mull whether to agree or to continue playing darts. Or a funnier analogy.

All those guys look so much a like that i thought they where all black guys.
Evans may have the look, but can he play a non-douchebag? I don’t think so.
Not that I give a shit, but what’s gonna happen when Captain America meets up with the Fantastic Four?
Awkward…
Eh, can’t he be the captain of a different country? Captain Germany perhaps?
With the collective douchebaggary this Eddie Bauer T-Shirt wearing, IPhone using while driving, apricot colored spray-on-tan sporting, bed-head on purpose hair style society that IS the United States of America…Chris Evans is the perfect choice as its captain.
Chodin made it, not me. And it is awesome.
Thomas Jane. Only viable Captain.
Iowa>Kansas!
See, we’re not just a state of pig fuckers sticking corn up our asses!
What? It’s totally not gay to be drunk, checking Filmdrunk at a bar at 1:20am using my blackberry, fuck you.
The gayest part of Little Dick’s previous statement?
He’s using a Blackberry.
Shouldn’t he have been promoted to like, Colonel or General America by now?
Not Chris Evans-y enough. Chris Pine is more Chris Evans-y by twelve than this fag. Huh ? Who are these people again ?