When you’ve been internationally known for your swarthy sex appeal for 30 years like Al Pacino, it’s probably hard not to rely on your olive-oil charm to get you out of any situation. But as this video, entitled “Al Touchino” demonstrates, is he overdoing it? Has Al Pacino become our touchy, creepy Uncle André? Maybe Al’s hands are like grandma’s perfume — she gets so used to the smell that she starts practically bathing in the stuff, so by the time she hits 75, if you’re even in the same restaurant you won’t be able to taste your food. It’s like that, but with Al Pacino’s hands on your tits. Also: his hair seems to get poofier whenever he’s agitated, like one of those lizards with the neck frills, or George Lucas’ throat pouch.
[By BrianPalmer via Urlesque]




Well, it was either acting lessons or a medical license.
Suuuuure, when Al does it, it’s cool. When I do it I get kneed in the nuts. I love it when they play hard to get.
Aaaaaaaannnnnd the catering truck is here.
*Puts on tie, holster’s finger guns*
CAN’T A GUY BREATHE IN SOME FEMALE DANDRUFF? HOO-AH!
Better him than his stinky cousin Al Patchouli.
I’m hoping my next 30 years will bring the sex appeal.
I’d rather pay $8 to see Al Pacino sing Radiohead’s “Creep” than any movie he’s made in the last 10 years
Say hello to my little friend
*points to crotch*
Al PaChino doesn’t grope you, she just makes puns about groping you.
Right on time, Chino.
*high five*
AlpoChino is packed with the nutrition dogs need.
AlphaChino is the boss of you.
You can send the royalty payment to the usual address, Chino.
(*points to crotch*)
Alka Chino is all plop plop, no fizz fizz.
AlphaChino was the name of the bully at my highschool ese.
Alba Chino has a beautiful ass and smells like calimari.
I meant asian bully. Durst.
or calamari.
AlcoChino is going to be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab.
The rare Pacino bird wanders his natural habitat approaching every female he sees in hopes of passing on his precious genes. Watch as he unfurls his sagittal plumage before beginning the complex mating dance. A series of light touches, OH! and a tackle. What a wondrous creature
Goddamn it Moreno! I withdraw my comment… Wheres the corner?
If Al were my creepy uncle, I’d invite him over for dinner and a sleepover every night. And leave my bedroom door unlocked.
ElfPacino is a funny reference i would make if work hadnt destroyed my creativity
El Cochino is what they call Val Kilmer at the mexican restaurants
durst!
Cappu Chino is, like totally more enlightened than you. Also, here is your latte, sir.
What? You’ve never talked to a woman’s breasts? Remember, Al Pacino is Italian.
Cappa Chino is what we called drive bys in asian neighborhoods.
Is that a roll of Werther’s in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
If he was the man he was 30 years ago he’d take a STROKE CANE TO THIS PLACE!
Alf paChino wont just stare at your tits, he’ll eat your pussy.
It is a roll of Werther’s. Lucky for you he also has a roll of blue bombers in the other pockets. Wokka wokka
i prefer Al PaKhakis to Al PaCHinos
Creeptasticness comes in a variety of flavors. Sometimes even it’s presented as wholesome… Remember 1988′s “For Keeps” the teen pregnancy comedy starring Molly Ringwald (and featuring Pauly Shore’s auspicious big-screen debut): [bit.ly]
She has a great a** & your heads right up