American Pie has already spawned two theatrical sequels, four direct-to-DVD sequels, and countless uncredited attempts to capitalize on its success. Meaning that there’s a huge built-in audience for the American Pie brand. And if you agreed with that idiotic statement, congratulations, you could be a Universal exec.
The studio is poised to bring on “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg to script a new take on the franchise, which is being described in the development community as “American Pie 4.” [Hence a sequel to the last theatrical sequel rather than a complete reboot] The movie would come on the heels of the third theatrical movie in the franchise, “American Wedding,” which came out in 2003, and a slew of lucrative DVD titles that followed. At least some of the original cast is interested in coming back for the new picture, though sources emphasized that development is early and there are no actor deals in place. [LA Times]
The only way I’d be interested in this is if Chris Klein plays his “This guy walks through the raindrops” character from Street Fighter. But of course the original cast is interested. Tara Reid and Natasha Lyonne need coke money, and Thomas Ian Nicholas will probably want to build a Scientology center or something if his music career doesn’t pan out. And Eugene Levy (see the top row of the below graph), he’s just happy to help out. Sh-t, he’ll sing at your Bat Mitzvah if you ask nice.
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Old news, bro. There’s already a teaser trailer for this: [tinyurl.com]
If it’s just Jennifer Coolidge, Chris Klein and Allyson Hannigan that could work
How has this franchise not filmed its latest abortion in Europe yet? I know they’re fundamentally stuck with American in the title, but fuck, film it in Amsterdam and call it <Dutch Letters 4 or something.
Quiet Michael, you’re giving Universal ideas.
I used to work at a video store. When I would run out of room on the rental wall, I would just stack all of the American Pie movies behind the same cover to make space. I figured anyone who rents them won’t be able to tell them apart.
True story, Burnsy: the other night we were hanging out at some dude’s apartment and this song came on and he goes, “I bet none of you can name this group.”
And I was like, Au contraire, motherfucker. It always makes my morning.
I think Jason Biggs has had enough pie already.
This is a perfect chance for Jim and Michele to deal with the joy of pregnancy while having a conveniently honest title – American Abortion.
This one is shot from the pie’s perspective. This works out well, as the audience is accustomed to just sitting there innocently and being unnaturally fucked by something that is more awkward than funny.
That’s just like Vince to hang out at some dude’s house and listen to Nelson.
/jealous he wasn’t invited
Here’s the problem wiff this. Stifler’s Mom is not even remotely attractive anymore.
Full pie penetration or see your way out.
When will Jason Biggs stop teasing us and finally do Boys and Girls 2?
Don Maclean is underlining the names of Universal studio execs on the list on his wall with red ink as we speak
It’s going to be awesome when Jim finally cums in the pie and Stifler eats it.
I would fuck the hell out of that song. And anything by the Hooters. Or Outland. Good times. good times.
Actually, Erswi, this photo of Jennifer Coolidge is pretty recent and she doesn’t look that bad: [tinyurl.com]
(And I promise it’s not a Nelson video.)
Tara Reid is already onboard for this. Her contract stipulates that she’ll get paid two nose jobs and a facelift.
Burnsy, I’d lay wood to the Jennifer Coolidge on the right any day of the week but the Jennifer Coolidge on the left is startin to chunk up more than a little bit.
Chris Klein has also agreed to be in the reboot but his nostrils are holding out in hopes of getting their own trailer
Most insurance companies won’t cover an American Pie Reboot, also known as a hymenorraphy or a hymen reconstruction.
Vince, you neglected to mention that the statement shocked you so that your monocle fell into your martini.
But really, what else can happen to Stifler? He drank cum, got golden showered….I think all that’s left is for him get tied up to a bed post while a midget shits on his chest then a calf comes in the room and licks the shit up.
Pauly, he was in that Dukes of Hazzard movie. With Jessica Simpson. That’s torture enough.
But really, what else can happen to Stifler? He drank cum, got golden showered….I think all that’s left is for him get tied up to a bed post while a midget shits on his chest then a calf comes in the room and licks the shit up.
Ah yes, the ol’ Half n’ Half Creamer. I remember that one fondly.
FUCK, that was supposed to be “Half & CALF Creamer”
Weird up.
The buzz at Sundance about this was insane! It’s an hour and a half, continuous take of Jason Biggs trying to get his dick out of a pie.
American Pie 4: The Viagra Years
Wait… I think they mean PIE as a metaphor… Genius!