02.09.10 TRAILAR FAR COLIN FARRELL’S MARMAID MOVIE

I once snagged a mysterious lady in a net. I believe the judge referred to it as Asportation and False Imprisonment. But she was totally asking for it, I mean . . . did you see what she was wearing?

Those are very good and accurate observations about Irish people.

Do you wanna fight about it, ya fookin’ pansy?

I once snagged a mysterious lady in a net named Annette.

Farrell must not have been using Tuna safe Dolphin nets, huh?

What the hell kind of name is Syracuse for an Irishman? We have names likes Sean and Seamus, where’s there’s no “h” but you pronounce them with a “sh” sound anyway.

So if that’s not pronounced “Shyracuse” we have a problem.

An idea to make this movie only five minutes long:

Make the girl he catches ugly. He tells her he’s in catch-and-release waters and dumps her back overboard.

If my fishing endeavors ended up like this, I’d go more often. Unfortunately, the only things I ever catch end up being Crappie.

The Mighty Feklahr is sure Syracuse also caught crabs that day.

So you’re a mermaid, that’s cool. What’s your daddy do?

Oh, he’s a loan shark.

Really? That’s your joke?

No, I’m serious. He’s a loan shark, he just likes fucking fish.

I hooked a mermaid once, but the only thing I caught was aquatic herpes.

Fuck you, Fek.

Lisshen oop, laddy! De Mighty One, well he be an Irishman Himself!…so, uh…got any whiskey, Shacktion?

I have three flasks in every desk drawer.

Dude, Vinnie, you spelling sucks today.

Karate chop a dwarf or GTFO

Weeelllll, Shacktion, m’lad, we are just fair skinned and Catholic backgrounds away from filling up all the stereotypes! Pass the taters!

Brother Seamuses (what, like an Irish monk?) this could have been a much worse representation of our stereotypes.

And shepherds fishermen we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls mermaids shall it ever be.

Boondock Saints 3: Back to the Docks

Prayin’ and shootin’, shootin’ and fishin’, fishin’ and fuckin’ sea creatures.

I was caught by a dude once but it wasn’t so much a net as it was a van.

Chino, technically it was an ‘83 F-150 Econoline with the windows blacked out and all the interior upholstery removed to make cleanup a breeze.

But we agreed never to talk about it. New up.

He got in that Mermaid just so he wouldn’t have to be in fuckin’ Bruges.

[blows Vinky a kiss]