ThisisItBlu_Ray_Side

Requisite Plug:  This week’s comments of the week winner gets This is It, the critically-acclaimed Michael Jackson concert movie, now available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Well, ‘Drunkards, it’s that time of the week again.  I’m pretty sure this week’s winning comment needs its own Wikipedia page, but you have to admit it was inspired.  Courtesy of The Mighty Fek’lhr, it’s kind of like what would happen if a guy who pretends to be a Klingon on the internet became a Juggalo and sent out a YouTube message to people who comment on FilmDrunk.  …Yeah.  From Farther Down the Juggalo Rabbit Hole:

Fek’lhr says:
*turns on webcam*
Yo, it’s the Erswi420 and FekMeUpMyAss show, straight dope phat monosyllabic WORD out to the Juggalettes. Hope that rash clears up. Word out to our homey 69NomMyD*ck, you is wicked f*cked up in the county shower, homes.
Got to give a special qovlpath to some hataz.
Yo, Rooster.  Don’t matter how much He and da Ers talk about gay sex, you are the one who likes it. QOVLPATH.
Yo, Trish. Youz a baktag. Your mutha has a smooth forehead and you consort with Romulans dat gots crabs and sh*t. QOVLPATH.

Yes.  Like I said, that probably needed annotations in order to be understood, but credit where credit’s due.

Second place was Pauly Dangerously for his series of comments on the Deleted Avatar Bar Fight Scene.

Detective 1: Ok, [reads ID] Jake Sully we’re gonna have to arrest you for disorderly conduct.
Detective 2: You want I should ‘cuff him? It’s not like he’s gonna flee! [Detectives laugh together]
—

Detective 1: This says here you’re an organ donor…
Detective 2: Whaddya gonna donate? YOUR LEGS!  [Detectives laugh together]
—

Detective 1: Says here you’re 5′10″….
Detective 2: What? Did they measure ya laying down? ‘Cause you’re 4′3″ in the chair! [Detectives laugh together]
—

Detective 1: Oh wait, ask us if we’re gonna help you up again.
Jake Sully: [reluctantly] Hey, are you guys gonna help me up?
Detective 1: No.
Detective 2: Yeah, whaddya take us for? ROLAIDS! [Detectives laugh together]
Detective 1: [to Detective 2] That was a good one!
Detective 1: Hey, what happened to your friend?
Jake Sully: What friend?
Detective 2: Yeah, your friend. I thought yous guys were a PAIR OF ‘peligics? [Detectives laugh together, high 5 each other]

Again, inspired.  Number 3, Michelle07′s series on The Darker Side of Siskel and Ebert:

Michelle07 says: I have a hard time coming up with fat jokes too. I’d just keep saying
“At the moooooooovies” and then kicking him in the shin before we make out.
—
“Your sweater vest would look better crumpled up next to my bed”
is my favorite pick up line.
—
Why are there no clips from the lighter side of Siskel and Ebert? The secret popcorn butter tickle fights in the back row, long games of hide the jujubee and the forbidde Reese’s cupping.

Number 4, ChinoMoreno on Mel Gibson Reteams with Shane Black, which somehow became a thread about Jewish basketball.

ChinoMoreno says: Jews love a free throw.
—
Jews love basketball. Nothin’ but net.
—

[Honorable Mention] – HoHosWeKnows says: Jews keep getting called for goldtending.

Number 5, Burnsy’s parody of Juggalos Calling Out the Haters:

Burnsy says: “Childhood obesity . . . F*ck you. Walking up the stairs . . . F*ck you. Running to catch the bus . . . F*ck you. Aw f*ck, I’m hungry.”

Number 6, Jacktion! turns the Deleted Avatar Bar Fight Scene into Forrest Gump:

Jacktion! says:  “Lord, turn me into a leonopteryx, so I can fly far, far away from here…”

Number 7, Donkey Hodey knows how to improve the Repo Chick trailer:

Donkey Hodey says: Anybody else watch that expected Fred Schneider to pop up at any minute and start gay-rapping about how big his car is?

Number 8, I like Pauly’s take on Howl:

Pauly Dangerously: I’m more interested in the Beatdik movement.
*snapping fingers while jacking off*
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Number 9, Donkey Hodey again, bringing the dirty 3D glasses problem into perspective:

Donkey Hodey says: “I wanted to put myself into a coma so my dream world would be Pandora, so I started licking the 3D glasses people wore into the theater.”

And finally, Number 10, Hohosweknow makes the obvious joke the rest of us should be ashamed for not thinking of, from the Juggalo Western post:

Hohosweknow says:
“What’d he say?”
“I said the Sheriff is a wigger!”

Anyway, good job, people.  Jesus this post takes forever.  I need an intern.

SITE NEWS:  As you may have noticed, I’m trying to integrate Comments of the Week into Top Ten List format to make it more user-friendly.  Excuse our dust during the transition.