02.04.10 THE MOST EXTREME FIXED-GEAR STUNTS EVER!

How extreme can it be when nearly 20% of the American workforce is performing your second biggest stunt everyday?

/obligatory administration burn

I hate New York bike riders. Stop flying through the intersection when I have right of way, you jackasses.

Grizzled Vet: You know why there are no extreme fixed-gear bike riders in NYC who are over 40? Do ya, rook?

Wide-Eyed Newbie: Is it because it’s so dangerous and none of them ever live that long?

Grizzled Vet: No, you idiot; it’s because you get smarter as you get older. You’ve got a lot to learn if you’re going to take the NYC extreme fixed-gear riding world by storm.

[cue training montage]

I hate New York bike riders, New York bus drivers, New York cab drivers, New York car drivers… basically, this city is an asshole.

My knuckle tat just says “Lonely” It’s more ironic because I couldn’t come up with anything that was 8 letters.

Oh and whatever Patty, take the subway, I don’t have brakes.

i gets all them ladies when i give them my fixed leer

Yeah, it’s pretty much asshole central here. You know it’s bad when people are telling you that you’re “too nice” to be a native. (Well, my southern accent is a tip, too.)

And I do take the subway. But bikers are dicks to pedestrians. So, suck it.

Wow. That was fucking extreme. I’ve never seen, um, people ride bikes in traffic before. Did you see that one guy pop a wheelie? My heart rate was briefly elevated.

I’m just gonna walk around randomly poking this long stick out, if it gets caught in your spokes, that’s your own fault.

Listen, this weekend, I saw my friend’s 10 year old son bash his 7 year old sister in the head with a Pyrex dish. THAT was 23987% more extreme than this bullshit.

The music/bicycle mix was making me giggle the whole way through. They cant be serious

Fuck this movie if one of these guys isn’t Kevin Bacon. Or Paul Rodriguez. . .

Or Jami Gertz.

Listen, this weekend, I saw my friend’s 10 year old son bash his 7 year old sister in the head with a Pyrex dish. THAT was 23987% more extreme than this bullshit.

Ugh, Pyrex is so mainstream and blase’. If he really wanted to impress me, he would have crushed her eye socket with Wedgewood.

This “sport” needs a fancy french-sounding name. I recommend “Froggour”.

I recommend “Roadkill”.

Oh, sorry. French sounding? How’s about “Reauxd-keel” then?

They should CGI in a visual representation of their daddy problems chasing them to make it more exciting.

I recommend a black smoke monster.

So THAT’S what people riding bicycles on video looks like!

That clip is the extreme equivalent of watching a teenager practice doing an ollie for an hour.

I’ve seen a preview of this director’s next documentary. It’s called Hot Doggin’. It also takes place on the streets of Manhattan, but features EXTREEEEEEME hot dog vending.

Any chance that audio would help me understand why that clip has 4 stars?

The next person that walks into my building hauling their bike over their shoulder is getting pushed down the stairs.

“Watch me do a rail slide off that post-modern platform for the ingestion zeitgeist.”

“You mean that fucking picnic table over there? Have fun, dick”

This is probably the polar opposite of the most extreme thing you can think of. Like sliding nose first down a rail that is covered in cocaine.

“My life only knows 10 speeds, man.”

Oh, Burnsy. You don’t get what fixies are all about… These guys live their lives one block at a time. The blocks are longer going East to West, of course…

New Up!

there, I’m subscribed. I anxiously await the related ‘faceplant’ vids.

They had to pay them in used Ray-Bans and Whole Foods gift cards.

This is a movie?

Movie should have been called “Race to Kari Ferrell Mountain”.

Haha Patty. Yea I was joking, I live in the South, ride a bike with both gears and brakes, and warn people when I pass them. Though most of the time I end up scaring the piss out of them as they somehow miss a 6′6″ retard on a bike behind them.

1st

awwww maaaannn