(as discovered by PhotoShopDisasters)
Twilight‘s Taylor Lautner’s rippling stomach muscles are famous the world over for putting the “abs” in “abstinence parable,” especially in the New Moon poster. But what if… they weren’t really his abs!!!!11!!ONE!!1! I just don’t know what to believe anymore! Does this mean I shouldn’t do it in the butt to save myself for marriage? Should I not hold out for my sparkling white Aryan who stalks me while I sleep? Down is up, up is down, minorities aren’t scary! Say it ain’t so, Shirtless Joe!
Also: how do you think that guy on the right gets his wiener to point sideways like that? You think he rubs it like a twig before the photoshoot to get it to plump like a Ballpark frank? I want to know his secret. Mine usually just stares straight down at the floor all depressed. It really bums the other people on the bus out.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Lautner-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Cage-4-150x150.jpg)
Next you’ll be telling me that the blue kitty-people from Avatar weren’t real.
Who cares? I can’t tell tan white people apart anyway.
I’VE BEEN MASTURBATING TO LIES!
I thought I stopped that when I stopped cybering.
That reminds me….
A/S/L everyone.
The fourth quadrant of this banner pic is pretty much all I see on Chat Roulette anymore.
next they’re gonna say that kristen stewart can’t act and that robert pattinson doesn’t really can’t sparkle
The hard part isn’t masturbating to one person’s head on another person’s body; the hard part is keeping them fresh enough so the smell doesn’t make you gag.
Vince is trying to lure in more Twihards by making sacrilegious statements.
I hope it works.
If only someone would photoshop a pair of shades on him.
I’m also starting to doubt Denzel Washington’s mustache and use of the phrase “LOL FAG!” on this ‘Book of Eli’ poster I saw at a bus stop.
Nic Cage from ‘Ghost Rider’ says “Called it!”
Shhhh….don’t tell anyone, but this isn’t really my gunt.
If this don’t get some Twihard fatties in here, nuthin’ will!
OMG, STOP THIS! UR GIVING WEREWOLVES A BAD NAME. EVERYONE KNOWS JACOB WOULD NEVER (NEVER!) LIE TO HIS FANS LIKE UR SAYIN! WE LUV UR BOD JACOB
P.S. WHY ARE YOU REFERRING TO JACOB AS TAYLOR?!?! THAT’S NOT HIS NAME, ROFL.
I don’t care what’s real and what’s not. The banner pic is now my wallpaper.
Good to see someone else who swings to the left, and I don’t mean liberal…
*bow tie spins*
Ahem, now back to work.
The armada is gonna get a workout tonight for sure! All of Canada is abuzz.
“i was buying more twilight bookmarks at barnes and noble when i met a guy wearing a white shirt and had like the best body ever. we hit it off and i took him home only to find out that his abs were just painted on the shirt he was wearing! MLIT”
vince i hope your next post is about boobs
Fek, oh I’m willing to bet the truckload of snackcakes and the 6 dozen jelly donuts I’m bring in will do the trick too!
Who in the fuck photoshopped my crotch bulge into the picture on the left?
Boobs that point to the left.
I aint queer but did any oher dude stare at that package for a bit too long? Haha long. Plus everybody knows Jacob was the worlds first model EVAR!
Looks like they’re serving Colombian Coffee on the starboard side.
Is it gay week at filmdrunk? Not that I’m complaining or anything.
It’s only gay if you cum, right?
*closes eyes and starts thinking about baseball*
New up – another one for the ladies. Thanks Vance.
Why am I imagining him playing air guitar and really giving the whammy bar a workout?
you must be SSO BLIND!! :O havent you seen the movies?? are you actually trying to make us believe that they modaged tay’s body in every single second???? :O and you know TAYLOR’S BODY IS WAY BETTER THAN THIS NO PANTS GUY!!!!!! I can’t believe you can actually believe all that. This would bee really pathetic. I consider that,ok, let’s say THIS IS AA PHOTOSHOP, I agree, tay has a LOT OF ABS and they are freaking hot!! thats all i can say.