Now that The Descent director Neil Marshall is done making the Mad Max of car porns, he turns his attention to where it’s more appreciated, to SWORD FIGHTS AND FIRE AND HOT CHICKS WITH WEIRD HAIR OOH WHA-AH AH-AH! And … hey, was that McNulty from The Wire? Anyway, this one’s called Centurion and it opens in April in the UK. It looks like it’s probably pretty dumb, but I’m okay with dumb, as long as there are enough sword fights and fire. It’s how I was able to teach special ed for all those years.
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I’ve been lisping the word Thenturion out loud, over and over, for five minutes now. – MLIFD
Spike Lee approves of casting a black guy as one of the Roman survivors.
Producer 1: We want to make a movie that features a whole nation full of underdeveloped savages. How do we do that without being racist?
Producer 2: Are they bloodthirsty or noble?
Producer 1: Wait, does that matter?
Producer 2: You bet your ass it does. If they’re noble, but still kinda stupid we have to CGI it and cast minorities as all the voice actors. If they’re bloodthirsty, then we make it a dark ages war story and use either Celtic people or the Vikings because they’re white.
Producer 1: I guess I’ve still got a lot to learn.
Producer 2: You sure do, my boy. Come and I’ll teach you over a hooker and some lines of blow.
Durst.
So, what we’ve got here is Predator, only this time rather than an alien picking off the squad one by one, it’s a tribe of belligerent Scots*. Fucking hell. This could be terrifying.
*not really obvious in the trailer as there were no gingers and no one was drunk.
For the first time in my life I want to f*ck a chick named Olga.
It’s ok to say “fuck” on here, reenst. You can say “cunt” too if you want.
I liked this better when it was called Deliverance. McNulty squeals like a pig or GTFO.
McNulty was also the bad bad man in 300.
I got a combo from Wendys and Fassbender was in it.
Say what you want, I haven’t been this hard since I saw the 300 trailer.
(Uh… I mean that in the I-wanna-live-vicariously-through-the-baddass-heroes kinda way, not the other way that makes it sound like I’m a fag.)
Heh…