SIGH, FRANKENSTEIN; WHY FRANKENSTEIN
02.02.10
(I felt this banner pic was as accurate as any.)
Lakeshore Entertainment just greenlit a film adaptation of the not-yet-released graphic novel, I, Frankenstein. Finally, someone updated Frankenstein for a contemporary audience! And by that I mean turned it into every sh*tty graphic novel movie ever — GRR, TAPOUT SHIRTS AND JÄGER BOMBS!!
The contemporary fantasy thriller tells the story of the original monster of Victor Frankenstein, who “stands between the human race and an uprising of supernatural creatures determined to overthrow the world.” [via /Film]
*cough* Hellboy! *cough, cough* Blade! *cough* Van Helsing! *cough* Legion! *cough* Constantine! *cough* Little Nicky! *cough* Oh God I’m actually choking now!
But don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be really good because it’s got the director of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I could see if this was a famous graphic novel, but as of now it’s just an unreleased graphic novel. And unreleased is where it should stay, along with the blue-ball jizz that rots in your abdomen. (note: this statement may not be “medically accurate”)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
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OH GOD, WHAT IF IT IS MEDICALLY ACCURATE?!?!
*Grabs knife*
OUT, DECAYING DEMON SEED! OUT, I SAY!
I’m waiting for the not-yet-released I, Pad. Tickets cost $499 and are obsolete in six months.
Frankenstein befriends a little girl and takes naked pictures of a kid’s sister from the Monster Squad’s clubhouse or GTFO.
I’d rather watch Hellboy 3 than this
Speaking of not-yet-released, Tuesday is when I feed the girl in my basement.
/No, my dog Precious is not named after that fucking movie.
*Yawns* Yeah, yeah. He becomes self aware and passes a message from Dr. Frankenstein along to Will Smith. Simpsons did it.
It’s better than my graphic novel about a former comedian who destroys America through strawman arguments and broken economics. Also, he’s a reanimated corpse.
*throws draft for Al Frankenstein out the window*
Alice Cooper: Haha! Suck my Frankencock, Ozzy.
Ozzy: klasdhfg aofbgk, naeu iopg jaerng; sjdbfgjh bgsrbthg!
AC: Care for some drugs?
Ozzy: Yes, please.
Judging by the yellow CAUTION tape in the background of the banner pic, i’m guessing Vince is returning to the scene of the crime.
I Franks In Stein
describes the entree and presentation method for my superbowl party
my original idea for the party was I Roofie You In Margarita Glass
<=== would actually rather watch Hellboy 3 than almost anything.
<=== would almost welcome a Seltz/berg Graphic Novel Movie.
WTF, we’ve already had a retelling modernized version of Frankenstein with that Dean Koontz thing (which was also a graphic novel) Why do I get visions of Firelight in my head with this.
“Say it…say it out loud.”
“Your stitched on dick fell off.”
“Are you afraid?”
No no no! I said get me a picture of Elvis being THROWN by a horse!
I, Frankenhooker would be slightly more watchable than this.