ShowgirlsTheReturn

Most people remember 1995′s Showgirls for its bizarre take on sexuality, like Elizabeth’s Berkeley orgasm scene where she flopped around like an epileptic on a bender.  That scene screwed me up for years, before I realized the female orgasm was a myth.  Then she licked the stripper pole, which is about as sexy as licking the floor of a subway, except worse, because whores don’t rub their vaginas on the floor of a subway.  What few people remember, however, is that it was a massive production and that MGM actually paid $2 million for Joe Eszterhas’ script.

Anyway, now the trailer for the sequel is here (below), and it’s none of those things.  When we heard about it last year, it supposedly had a $25 million budget.  It now  appears they spent $24.99 million of that on coke and hired a high school kid to direct it.  It starts with a naked chick falling out of a hot tub and crawling across the floor like a worm, before getting “bludgeoned” by another chick.  And by bludgeoned I mean lightly tapped on the head because they couldn’t afford stunts or editing equipment.  Enjoy the extended trailer because I wouldn’t expect to see this in theaters or at home, unless you want to send a money order and wait 6-8 weeks, and even then you’ll need a laserdisc player.

UPDATE:  My bad, apparently this is too NSFW to embed here, but you can watch it at the official site here.  And don’t worry, it’ll start autoplaying as soon as you click that.

Thanks to ThePlaylist for finding this.