(The director’s toughest task was training Michelle Rod not to bark at the engines)
Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have both reached that point in their careers when they give up on concept albums and just re-release a greatest hits record. Both have signed on for a fifth, that’s right five, count it one hand, everyone but Shia, Fast and Furious movie. It reteams them with director Justin Lin and probably earns them a nice paycheck, given that Fast and Furious was Universal’s top-grossing movie of 2009. This one will be called Fast Five, and is said to involve Dom and Brian “as fugitives being pursued by relentless lawmen.”
I think a good plot would be that the government are after Brian because they want to do experiments on his beautiful, motionless face and use his blood as some kind of Botox competitor and Dom has to protect him like E.T.
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s the greatest car movie of all time?
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Tooth-Fairy-Main-150x150.jpg)
I FUCKING LOVE HOT DOG ON A STICK!!!!!!!!!!!
Fa5t Five?
*finishes installing extra cupholders, reading lamps in the family Accord sedan*
I am soooo pumped right now.
Fast Five? That’s what I call my masturbatin’ hand.
Paul Walker should do a spinoff movie about his own life called “Slow ‘Mo”.
They were going to name the last one like that, but they weren’t sure if people would get ‘Fast Four’ confused for a Sex & The City movie.
F5 couldn’t refresh this franchise.
[pats Hollywood on it's head]
I’m sorry mommy drank when you were a fetus.
As long as you have teenagers and parents to drop them off, there’s going to be teen fodder like this at theaters, and they’re going to be ROLLING in money.
The banner pic looks like the aftermath of a 3 Stooges skit. Vin Diesel had sleeves until he dropped his career in the engine and tried to go after it.
I call my children’s mothers the Fast Five.
Fast and Furious 5: coming to theaters this year… and then not long after that, to its permanent home on TBS and TNT.
should we call her Trim Trim?
Fact: Michelle Rodriguez LITERALLY chews the scenery.
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Where in the uncanny valley does Paul Walker fall?
Kind of a strange photoshop, considering Michelle doesn’t know her way around a tool.
Paul Walker originally tried out for the part of that oscillating fan. He kept blowing his lines.
Fact: Michelle Rodriguez doesn’t blow lines. She inhales them nasally.
Studio flack to test screening crowd: So, guys, what did you think about the film?
Crowd: DUUUUUURRRRRR!
Dane up!
And a separate storyline in which Michelle Rodriguez is pursued by two relentless SPCA agents.