(“I’M SO JEALOUS OF THAT GIANT PUMPKIN.”)
This story was barely movie-related to begin with, but I’m sort of bound to correct my facts. Yesterday we all reported that Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister Noah was helping launch a lingerie line (my post sourced an Australian MSN article). Now the woman who runs the line says that’s not true, that the “lingerie” is really just ballet clothes.
Annie Dugourd says she’s a “stay at home mom who makes tutu dresses”. She and another mom started Ooh, La La! Couture, the apparel firm named in several reports as the designers behind an upcoming line of lingerie from Miley Cyrus’s nine-year-old sister Noah and her best friend, eight-year-old actress Emily Grace Reaves.
“The story is completely false…it’s a total lie…we don’t make lingerie. It’s been devastating for our little company,” says Dugourd, who has a daughter. “We would never do anything inapppropriate.” She says that Noah and Emily Grace have no plans to make lingerie using another firm. [CNBC]
So there, you jerks. How dare you sully the good name of this woman who was only trying to use heavily-made-up nine-year-olds carrying clutch purses and little dogs like Paris Hilton and wearing tiny skirts and posing around stripper poles to sell her clothes. You perverts should really be ashamed. Looks like you guys have got a lot of growing up to do.
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Jesus Christ! She’s like an Uglier Maggie Gyllenwhatever if she was washed in hot water!
But we can pretend it’s lingerie, right?
Are we pretending this is movie news just as an excuse for Polanski ‘shops?
Lingerie, ballet dress, whatever. It’s what’s inside that counts.
Miley got the looks, but Noah got the talent.
Mattel, Toys R Us, and the Children Who Are Wrapped in Aids Foundation have to be so proud right now.
“We would never do anything inapppropriate.”
yep, nothing inappropriate about 10 yr old girls wearing knee high boots, skirts 8 inches above their knees, and stockings. Just your average outfit for your average 10 year old.
*18 inches
So, is this where the whole “Potbelly Conversation” scene in Pulp Fiction came from? Quentin’s kind of fucked up, dude.
Who’s the blonde?
Well I know which Cyrus girl I want to fuck…
I mean, I know which one I can wait until they are 18 for.
I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I’m pretty sure that picture on the right is proof that goblins exist.
You should talk to her, Burnsy. She’s totally giving you the eye.
The picture on the right won’t let you cross her bridge unless you can answer her questions three.
I see sweater vests are still fashionable for the male tubbies with tits. Poor guy.
*slides Shark Bites across lunch table*
Great stuff if you want to dress your pre-teen like a w-h-o-backwards r.
Linus: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: I am not falling for that shit again.
As the great Dave Chappelle once said “Look, I’m not saying you’re a whore. But you are wearing a whore’s uniform. You don’t see me walking around Lowe’s in a blue best getting all indignant when somebody asks me where the paint department is.”
Picture on the right shops at Oooh, La La! Torture. Popular kids’ items include My First Cockring and Slap&Tickle Me Elmo.
For clarifications sake, two 9-year olds does not equal one 18-year old.
Which one of you clowns designed the “Children Affected By AIDS” logo?
Haha! It’s hilariously inappropriate!
*opens folded note*
“DTF after P.E.? Check Yes or No.”
Whoa. Yeah, this has no negative influence on them at all.
The picture on the right looks like a Japanese manga artist’s best attempt to make Helen Hunt look sexy.
Affected? Ah, I see it now. I was thinking Protected. Which didn’t make a lot of sense come to think of it. Unless it protected them from unwanted advan- nevermind.
@keyHo–I’d say Leelee Sobieski, but that’s splitting hairs. Nonexistent, pubic, hairs.
/Yes, I had to Google “looks like helen hunt.”
Noah: Of course it’s not lingerie… lingerie is underwear, silly. I don’t wear that shit.
I’m 99.999999% sure Jeff Zucker has something to with this fuckup
That’s not true, Chareth.
They’re EXCELLENT exploitive parents.
Taffeta? Don’t hardly know ‘er!
*cops a patented Crappy Leg-a-C*
It’s lingerie for 9 yr olds. There’s no shame in that. I mean, it’s only gonna be on for like, 5 minutes, right?
Noah? Don’t hardly … um …
Quite the ‘do. Give her enough AquaNet and she could take a fastball to the temple and laugh it off.
Q: What is that thing? Is it an alien?
A: No, a Cyrus.
Holy shit. Did I just insult a 9 year old’s haircut? The fuck happened to my life?
Lingerie, ballet clothes…..whatever. Just make sure that the girls know to put the panties on outside of the garter belt.
I call bullshit, a size-14 in lingerie makes sense, a size 14 ballerina only makes sense if they’re reenacting that scene from fantasia with the alligators and the hippos.
Hint… she’s not an alligator.
These are clothes for doing ballet. On the pole.
Even Gene Simmons thinks those boots are “a little over the top”.
“The only Pole worth doing ballet on is me.” – Roman Polanski.
Goddammit, she looks like the love child of Steve Buscemi and John Malkovich, and you know what, it’s not her face. She’s probably not ugly. It’s the damn makeup and hair and clothes, but any 9-year-old will look fugly in that lipstick. They should force an intervention where the Cyrus family has to live with Lindsey Lohan and that Simon Monjack (Brittany Murphy’s widower) and see if that is really what they want for their family.
Noah Cyrus = But-Her-Face in my book
*channels Ted Snopes*
She’s probably not ugly.
FALSE.
She’s only nine and Noah’s arch is already on it’s downward trajectory.
All Oh! La La Couture clothing comes on a complimentary wire hanger.
stupid misplaced apostrophe
Tags on all Oh! La La Couture clothing have two blank spaces, one for your child’s name and the other for her safe word.
“We do not make lingerie. We make ballerina costumes. And cheerleader costumes. And nurse costumes. And French maid costumes. And Catholic School Girl costumes. And, for the record, we no longer make the leather biker-girl costume. We lost our leather supplier.”
PETA is demanding they be replaced with robotic 9 year old love dolls. They have plenty of spare ones for you to use. Sadly, they’re all in the shape of endangered penguins.
If this is what ballerinas are suppose to wear then I guess you can consider me a man of the arts because I’ve seen strippers wearing more than these girls. Also, would you consider the used $5 bills I give them, a donation to the arts?
Insisting that these clothes are not lingerie but rather costumes is like insisting that the conflict in Vietnam was a “police action” and not a war. Either way, both result in my uncle spending time in a prison.
Lingerie for 9 yr old girls is harmless because boys are icky and gross.
Left banner pic: Wachowski brothers, Hallowen 1976.
Whatever. I’m stocking up on champagne. Something about those bubbles…
In 6 years when Noah Cyrus has her first kid how can she come up with a name stupid enough? Does the government allow the use of puffy stickers on birth certificates?
@Ogino: That’s a question for your tax attorney and/or parole officer.
Noah: “It’s not lingerie.”
Arnold: “It’s not a tumor. It’s just her chin.”
Did my lupus “joke” get censored?
I feel like Vinnie leaving this post up is entrapment somehow.
*speeds off on light cycle to erase IP address*
Dressed like that, I’m not surprised that she’s at a Children Infected By AIDS Foundation event.
When she’s 18 and takes that film role that is supposed to tell the world she’s “not the little girl she used to be” is she going to play a nun?
Ooh, la la! 9 yr old girls aren’t the only ones trying to get into our panties.
Thank Christ there’s a new up.
Nine little girl years is actually eighteen Cyrus years.
Holy shit. She’d be a lot less ugly if she had a normal sized head.
Sorry if I’m dick stepping but it kind of gives “Toys R Us” a whooooole new meaning.
Poor girl will always be the “less attractive younger sister”, also known as “Elle Fanning Syndrome”.
Pic 1 is undeniable proof that in order to look hawt, simply stand next to an ugly person.
Polanski probably sued them for stealing his intellectual property.
Ironically, Polanski calls his penis his ‘Giant Magic Pump-kin’.