For all the stuff his name’s been attached to, Brett Ratner hasn’t actually made a feature since Rush Hour 3. I like to think the discrepancy is the result of financiers actually seeing one of his movies. Nonetheless, he’s still attached to direct Tower Heist (formerly Trump Heist), which was originally conceived as a black Ocean’s 11, but was last rumored to be wooing Ben Stiller for the lead. Even strangelier, Noah Baumbach is said to be writing the script.
The story has also changed somewhat, from being a pure heist movie to the story of a bunch of blue collar guys on a mercy mission. It turns out the main tenant of this Trump Tower-like building has bilked the employees’ pension fund in a huge Ponzi scheme. [Roger Friedman via /Film]
Baumbach last wrote the highly-underrated Fantastic Mr. Fox and has Greenberg, which he wrote and directed, opening April 1. Meanwhile, Brett Ratner just heard about the pizza cone and literally pooped his pants.
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Will Ratner and McG just “come out” as a couple already?
Grizzly bears can smell Cheeto fingers from a mile away.
This must be the Hollywood equivalent of your parents telling you to be nice to that weird kid in your class who eats glue.
(Holy run-on sentences, Batman.)
FYI, I updated the end of this post with important news about the Pizza cone.
The yid and the whale?
A “Fonzie scheme” is where The Fonz asks you for some juke box money and just pockets it.
And we’re one step closer to Navin R. Johnson’s dream of pizza in a cup.
I LOVE fill in the blank games. Brett Ratner… shot his pants? Shut his pants? Shet his pants? What the hell does shet mean?
The black Ocean’s 11 better hope there aren’t any bodies of water around the safe.
Because of their fancy safe cracking equipment, racist.
Ratner tweets: teh pizza cone!!!121 this will make it a lot ez-er to dress up a mijit like an elf and eat pizza out of its ass now lol!
Ratner shgt his pants????
Too late. The little hangman guy is dead.
Ratner tweets: teh pizza cone!!!121 this will make it a lot ez-er to dress up a DEAD mijit like an elf and eat pizza out of its ass now lol!
Thanks for the setup, Patty. We just Filmdrunked. *puffs clove cigarette*
Pizza cones make better fifis than Hot Pockets.
Y’all know damn well that I’m not funny.
Ratner took the job because he already thought “ponzi” was the word for pizza-cone.
Pizza cones make better fifis than Hot Pockets.
Guy’cha! Say you didn’t mean it! SAY YOU DIDN’T MEAN IT!
*runs off sobbing*
Brett Ratner MOVIE? No, no, no. Learn the trade lingo my friend. It’s a “Spike Lee Joint,” and a “Brett Ratner Nacho Plate.”