(“Look out, Brad, it’s after your Blackberry!”)
Regency is some kind of studio-within-a-studio at Fox, and it turns out they’ve been infected by the bad ideas like so much poop thrown by monkeys. Which is to say they’re rebooting Mr. and Mrs. Smith, without Brad or Angelina, and calling it (wait for it…) Mr. and Mrs. Jones.
In the 2005 movie that created the Brangelina phenomenon, the actors played an outwardly milquetoast married couple who had no idea they were both assassins hired by competing agencies to kill each other. Jones will serve as an origin story about a similar couple, showing how a pair of twentysomething spies are set up as a fake married couple when they graduate agency training. [Vulture]
Hot damn, a vehicle for hot, young starlings and a take off of The Proposal? All this needs now is Betty White showing up to call everyone a c-sucker. Hmm, I wonder what Riker and Picard think about this…
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Sad Riker Trombone is the new Serious Cat
Milquetoast goes great with Milquesteak.
Me and . . . Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones . . . we got a shitty derivative movie goin’ on . . .
Jolie is outwardly milftoast.
The Mighty Feklahr firmly believes Lince puts up Trekkie stuff just for Him.
The Mighty Feklahr will challenge anyone to cHid’Iot* that would dismiss this claim.
*Klingon tickle fight…to the durchfall.
As per standard operating procedure, Sam Worthington is attached for this film. The twist is that he’ll be playing the part of Mrs. Jones.
When they heard about this, Brad shaved his beard and Angelina adopted another kid.
I don’t know what’s scarier Fek, a Klingon tickle fight, or that it happens so often there’s actually a term for it.
*teams up with Park Ranger, dives into abandoned mine shaft*
This franchise will be worn down to a nub when they get to Mr. and Mrs. Galafiniakis.
Spike Lee demands that the Joneseses be black.
This will end up on Mr. E. Sciencetheater.
Mr. and Mrs. Jim Jones could be fun.
Later, it will be adapted for a cartoon show called “Gimp Ossible”.
Fuck me for putting this out there and risking my untimely demise, but…..Mr. & Mrs. Jonas?
Disney is also working on Mr. and Mr. Jonas.
Brad: “Nope, no lumps. Ange?”
Angelina: “Clear. How ’bout you, kid?”
Taylor: “Duhhhhhh … what’s a lump?”
Uh oh … Ini’s gon’ be pissed…
That eagle’s talons are no match for Angelina’s crow’s feet.
BOOSH.
So…uh… we gotta touch dicks now, Morty.
Look down, Donk….we’ve been touching dicks all along!
Let’s see, two spies pretending to be a couple for their cover. Now all we need is for the hubby to work at Buy More and the wife to work across the way at a yogurt shop. Yep, totally original!
Next up for Regency Films will be a remake of Halloween called New Year’s and instead of an inside out William Shatner mask the killer will wear the mask properly. And he will be easily killed.