(Pretending to be a Na’avi: It’s all fun and games until Quaritch shows up.)
James Cameron’s producing partner Jon Landau recently announced plans for an Avatar prequel novel, to be written by James Cameron himself — his first novel. It’s an unusual move, considering other directors like Michael Bay can barely read Highlights Magazine. But Cameron should have plenty of material on which to draw, such as these, some of my favorite recent topics from the Avatar forums:
[From the thread "Gay Na'vi: It's possible"] While I watch the film, I can’t help but imagine that in the world of AVATAR, there’s no such thing as hatred, homophobia, or intolerance, and that as long as you are a noble soul and one with the people, such boundaries as “gay” or “straight” don’t exist. In fact, I created a silly scenario in my mind, in which Norm falls in love with a male warrior from a neigboring Na’Vi tribe (LOL)…
I can totally see the Na’Vi having more than on concept of what “normal” sexuality is…this is a very interesting topic that sadly I have found being faced with jeers and derision in other boards. Hopefully here, I will be able to get intelligent discussion. -User T’iam B’sog
I can’t imagine a Na’vi participating in oral or anal sex or any other erotic actions that humans are so fond of, whether it is with one of the same sex or opposite. -Sareth
[From the thread "How would you eat a Teylu?"] Maybe they’d use some hot sauce to give the larvae some flavor. X-P Maybe they’d call it something crazy like “Thanator Hell Breath” or “Na’vi No-nonsense Hot Sauce”. 8-D -Nawm awpo kip nìwotx
Thread: I was listening David boey and thinking about how a culture like the one of the navi would react to music like that or how they would react if they, heaven forbid, saw an episode of family guy. Your thoughts?
I hope they never see what us humans enjoy. We are, and I dont mean to sound hateful, a mentally sick bunch of primates. The Na’vi are pure. In order for them to stay that way they should learn as little about people as possible. -Navikin
I think some of the music we have may be okay (definitely NOT rap, metal or country though….I mean the orchestral/experimental style stuff, with any instrumentation). Television, also widely known as the “idiot box” should never be introduced to the Na’vi. Not ever. Music yes, other forms of our media, no. -atxrawng
The Na’vi are so pure in everything they do, valueing life to their utmost potential which i admire so much. Na’vikin i agree with you 100% i would so much rather leave this life style and world to live their ways in their world. I think it would be sad to see us humans currupt the Na’vi into the (sorry to say) monsters most humans have become… thank God there are still civilized groups of us though. -Menari-Sevin
They would probably scoff and call us all skxawng. -Justthere348
Those pure, noble, pterodactyl-raping cat-monkeys. For a mentally-sick primate such as myself, frankly it would be an honor just for one to scoff at me and call me skxawng. Oh man, I’m totally imagining this as a dominatrix scenario now. Guarantee it’s happened. ”That’s right, now eat my litter box, you greedy sky-primate!”
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I created a scenario in which Norm falls in love with an Edward Manllow.
My brain = useless mushy glob after reading that. Game over.
Say what you want Vince, but somehow Michael Bay can always find a stick of dynamite and a keg of gunpowder.
Mena Suvari is an Na’avi name?
Funny, my safeword is “skxawng”.
Dick Tales WooHoo
*jumps into giant room of gold coins
Fuck you donk. I was just scanning Mena Suvari’s imdb to craft a joke.
If these people are so ashamed of humanity, why do they keep going to the damn movie? The amount of money this movie has made could quite literally pull nations out of poverty, cure millions of sick children in third world country. Instead, that money is going towards James Cameron’s third pudding chamber in his sex dungeon. But, since I’m human (and American, to boot) I say “Fuckin’ A. Jim. You earned that money by giving us exactly what we want. Pretty pictures and loud noises. Bring on the tapioca.”
I’m having a hard time getting rid of the image of George Wendt tongue kissing a blue cat.
I can’t imagine a Na’vi forum participant participating in oral or anal sex or any other erotic actions that humans are so fond of, whether it is with one of the same sex or opposite.
FI’XED
I can totally see the Na’Vi having more than on concept of what “normal” sexuality is
Andy Dick is intrigued by this.
*Incoming communique from PT Barnum*
DID I CALL IT OR WHAT, MOTHERFUCKERS!
I hope they never see what us humans enjoy. We are, and I dont mean to sound hateful, a mentally sick bunch of primates. The Na’vi are pure. In order for them to stay that way they should learn as little about people as possible. -Navikin
Just because you jerk it to fury porn doesn’t mean the rest of us (well those who aren’t on this board) are sexual deviants.
When I saw the movie I thought “Damn you military corporations!”. After reading this shit I think “Which button fires all the rockets?”.
I wrote some slash fiction where Norm falls in love with Cliff. Then Woody walks in on them.
I am getting moist wondering what different definitions we might all have for “fury” porn.
If you subscribe to “Better Huts and Tree Stumps”, you might be a gay Na’avi.
I prefer the classics Morton. I.e. 70s pube-fro porn.
If you have trouble mating your braid to your Pterodactyl’s tail because you sometimes use too much product, you might be a gay Na’avi.
I’m with Erswi. Avatards get depressed that Pandora doesn’t exist. I get depressed that these people do. I don’t know how to process what’s going through my brain after reading that but I do know that it could be solved if I knew these people would be mauled by bears.
Listen, if I understood the way Sigourney Weaver explained the planet of Pandora, the whole fucking thing is the internet for anybody who’s got a rape-braid. Anybody who thinks that a culture where the whole planet is the internet doesn’t have deviant fetishism is just too damn dumb to live.
“I was listening David boey and thinking about how a culture like the one of the navi would react to music like that or how they would react if they, heaven forbid, saw an episode of family guy. Your thoughts?”
My thoughts are that you no speaky da engrish
/serious
I’m all for letting people nerd out on their favorite movies and books, but I’m quite worried about the commenters who refer to the characters as if they actually exist. Saying that humans ‘shouldn’t currupt (sic)’ a fictional race because they ‘are pure in everything they do’ isn’t a sign of fandom, it’s a sign of mental illness.
/serious
My fury porn of preference is when the dude verbally abuses someone over the phone and jerks off. For a fine example, see Philip Seymour Hoffman in HAPPINESS.
Oh man. If The Island turns out to be on Pandora, I’m going to be so pissed.
Wait, wrong post.
I can’t imagine a Na’vi participating in oral or anal sex or any other erotic actions that humans are so fond of, whether it is with one of the same sex or opposite. -Sareth
Ahmadinejad, is that you?
After I watched my favorite movie for the twentieth time in a month, I, too, got depressed. I just need to accept that my next trip to the doctor will not involve getting blown by the hot brunette nurse and redhead receptionist.
how they would react if they, heaven forbid, saw an episode of family guy
Darmok and Jalad… at Tanagra?
My favorite fury porn usually has “Fist of” in front of it.
I saw fury porn once…the chick was doing oral and then just bit the dude’s d*ck clean off
Hell, I admit it. I agree with those sentiments 100%. I hope that the non-existant cat aliens never see what us humans are like…
In fact, I created a silly scenario in my mind, in which Norm falls in love with a male warrior from a neigboring Na’Vi tribe (LOL)…
You know how I know you’re gay?
I wear a wrist band to show my support of fury porn.
I can’t believe I failed to realize I spelled that wrong until just now…
Okay, feel free to punch me in the face now.
Hey Na’vi, what kinda music do ya dig? What’s that? John Mayer? Well thats some fuckin’ pussy shit, blue. Check this out (turns on Rage Against The Machine).
I wear a wrist band to show my support of fury porn.
Funny – I wear a wrist BRACE to show my support of porn>
James Cameron will never have my $14. That’s all I need.
*slow clap for neSo*
There’s fury porn out there? Damn it, all the time I’ve wasted tearing one down to PGA publicity stills of Jim Furyk. Why did no one tell me I was doing it wrong!?
FYI, the > represents my oneness with nature and html coding. You filthy, stupid fucking humans wouldn’t get it.
Not only do gay Na’vi exist but I’m pretty damn sure that whole planet is male. If their idea of sex / learning to ride six legged horses didn’t involve docking you can personally jump my leonoptryx
“I bet them blue cats taste real good.”
-Forum User Ja’acktion!
Jack! has been blue baiting…
Stone just baits ’til it’s blue.
It is a shame to see what monsters most humans have become. All those 350 pound slobs eating twinkies in their parents basement spending all day in front of their computer screens pretending to live in a world that doesn’t exist.
*checks mirror*
Still skinny! Suck it, nerds!
This makes me hate the fact that I enjoyed the movie. The good news is that once this weird fetish progresses to cosplay, we can petition to have these people classified as zombies and deal with them as Punchface Thunderdog sees fit.
Dr. Egon, I think in this day and age, everyone spends countless hours in front of the computer. So to say only fat slobs do that while you’re here logging hours in front of the computer is mute, unless you too are a fat slob. While this may hold true 15 years ago, I think things have changed regarding that notion. Of course, if you weren’t ignorant, you’d realized this already.
I desperately want to make these ass clowns live out in the wild for a week with nothing but a few basic supplies. That way they could see that crapping in the woods, actually hunting for your food and dealing with the constraints of weather are nothing like sitting in a fucking theater with 3d glasses on.
Mr. Traveler, the Good Doctor’s post was ironic. He was drawing a spurious (and therefore humorous) distinction between the “fat nerd on a computer” stereotype and himself, suggesting the only difference was his weight.
Points for playing the catty, cliche and pretentious “if you weren’t ignorant” card, though.
Spacetraveler (can I call you Kevin?)
Kevin, while Electric Mayhem makes a fine point, I would also like to point out that people on Filmdrunk don’t spend their days wishing that they lived on a fictional planet in a contrived, formulaic movie.
Only fat people do that.
Wait. Someone just told me that Avatar was a movie and the Na’vi were really just computer animated people, kinda like Tracy Morgan. Is that true? Cuz I thought it was a documentary. I even already bought tickets to Pandora.
Haha, Spacetraveler said “mute” instead of “moot”.
Yeah, I’m petty. Fuck off.
Wait. Someone just told me that Avatar was a movie and the Na’vi were really just computer animated people, kinda like Tracy Morgan. Is that true? Cuz I thought it was a documentary. I even already bought tickets to Pandora.
Oh. My. God. I am totally going to start selling tickets to Pandora on Ebay. Who wants to ride on my new Yacht in a few weeks?
(sit down, Spacetraveler)
this is my new wallpaper. can we have one of the Colonel bench pressing?
-po’Qupyne Bllz
Jacktion! you’re right. People on here just love to spend time being critical of others, acting superior and flawless. Winner.
Donkey Hodey, thanks. Since you’re one of the perfect people here, I’m sure you’ve never made such an error.
I don’t get it. So what if people want our planet to be like Pandora? So what if we want to be a rockstar? So what if we want to be Superman, Spiderman, or a Jedi? So what if you’re one of the fat slobs sitting here with hair on your back like a Sasquatch? That’s your problem, and that’s the Avatar fan’s problem.
Let them be. No one is here telling you how much of a loser you guys are worrying about other people’s lives (except for me). Let them be and we’ll let you quietly pretend to be the cool people you are. Well no you can’t be quiet, you have to let it be known how cool you guys are by bashing others. Yes, bash the same geeks/nerds that brought you this website, and technology and innovations that help make you look cool.
The only thing cliched here is the tiresome attitude you people have here. Really, it’s not hard to be an ass and cynical. You can just say things out of your ass, sound crass with minimal logic, and you’ll get yourself some like minded simpleton who finds it funny.
Unfortunately, a site like this encourages bad attitude and makes the ignorant feel proud of themselves.
Yes, bash the same geeks/nerds that brought you this website, and technology and innovations that help make you look cool
Kevin, I guarantee you that anyone writing in that Avatar forum is too busy sewing fleshlights into plush smurf toys to advance technology in an way, shape, or form.
Kevin, maybe if you give James Cameron more of your money, he’ll take care of us for you.
Honestly, Avatar, while a shitty movie, is a good thing. You see, Kevin, there’s this thing called natural selection. All of the people who aren’t smart enough to distinguish the difference between reality and cartoons in 3D, are being weeded out of the genetic pool by this movie. They’ll never procreate because genital sex will never be as fulfilling as tail sex. You see, when the Na’avi have an orgasm, the warm sensation radiates outward from their heart.
“Let them be.”
Having trouble living up to your own words there, aren’t you, Spacetraveler?
Kevin, if it seems like I’m talking down to you in my last post, then you’re more observant than I thought.
Stone Soup I am also selling “tickets to Pandora” on eBay but it’s actually just a front for selling bulk LSD
So what if we want to be Superman, Spiderman, or a Jedi?
We want you guys to want these things so we can make fun of you. *puts on shades, adjusts collar, steals Spacetraveler’s lunch money.
Well, Spacetraveler, I’m sure you’ve never bashed anything you’ve thought was misguided, childish, and stupid, have you?
Unfortunately, a site like this encourages bad attitude and makes the ignorant feel proud of themselves.
If there’s room up there on your high horse for lil’ old me, I’d like to share a bit of your misguided outrage. You see, I too have found a site which I believe creates an atmosphere of bad attitudes which aid the ignorant in feeling good about themselves. That site?
Bangbrosthe Avatar forums that Vince links to.Many of the quotes above and those I’ve read elsewhere show a large number of people (those which you’ve chosen to represent) are the kind of people who would just as readily damn humanity as being wicked and vile while at the same time cherishing the virtues of a race of people invented by humans.
If you hate being human so damn much and want to go live the virtuous life of the Na’avi, what’s stopping you? There are plenty of places right here on Earth where you can live the good life of praying before dinner and using livestock as tools for the betterment of your village. In fact, that’s pretty much what all of Utah is about.
Jacktion! you’re right. People on here just love to spend time being critical of others, acting superior and flawless. Winner.
Welcome to Filmdrunk!
I’m so glad I read these comments.
What you gents did to Spacetraveler was like luring a retarded kid into a bag, then beating him.
Wait…I guess you had to be there.
Real post:
Hi everybody. I just feel wrong using my normal forum name (Ram8113) for this site. I want to have a Na’vi name but am WAY too new to the language (though am starting to learn proper pronounciation due to the awesome tools on this site) to make my own name.
I’m looking for ANY recommendations anybody may have. The name doesn’t have to mean or represent anything. It just has to be Na’vi. Is there even a way to make Na’vi names that aren’t in the movie?
can’t….stop….left….arm……..ARRRRGGGGGG
*furiously wanks (dismissively, of course)
If you chose your pterodactyl “…because the teal of his wings really brings out my aquamarine highlights”, you might be a gay Na’vi.
I can’t imagine a Na’vi participating in oral or anal sex or any other erotic actions that humans are so fond of, whether it is with one of the same sex or opposite. -Sareth
Sareth, you are a god damned liar.
SHIT, I can’t believe I missed Spacetraveler’s initial softball. Yes, I spend hours in front of the computer every day. But I’m studying medicine, not e-docking with other genital-virgins about the merits of a fake ecosystem. Darwin or GTFO.
+1 Electric Mayhem for the tasteful rebuttal
+1 Jacktion! for the fat joke. *checks six pack* suck it!
+1 Donk for moot/mute. Uppity stupid fat people are the worst.
-1 Egon for missing the fun
I wish I was on Pandora, because the Na’avi are so pure and noble and shit that they probably don’t even have FUCKING TIME ZONES THAT MAKE ME MISS OUT ON GANG-RAPING FUCKHEADS LIKE KEVIN!
*ahem*
Sorry about that.
So … Avatar is just Two and a Half Men in space?
You can add apostrophes to any name or word of any language and it becomes Na’vi
Yea Spaz, I was in class when Traveler posted. I’ll tip a can of fosters out for the both of us.
Jirish: make sure you light a fire to purify the ground after.
friendo: let me try that…
spazmo’dic
I like it.
Is this a fucking cult?
Dear Spacetraveler,
Heaven’s Gate called, they want their batch of 1997 Kool Aid back.
Hale-Bopp, Bopp sh-Bopp doo wop
Can someone please tell me who David Boey is? Was he the guy that starred in such classics as Loborinth or The Man who fell to Pandora?