(“YOU GIRLS EVER BEEN TO SWITZERLAND? IT’S NICE, ALL THE HOT CHOCOLATE YOU CAN DRINK.”)
Well this is a heartwarming story. Turns out Miley Cyrus’ little sister, Noah, star of the English language redub of Ponyo (movie related!), is launching her own line of lingerie, despite being 9 years old. 9-year-olds, Dude. (obligatory)
She’ll be teaming up with her pint-sized best friend Emily Grace to launch a children’s lingerie collection for ‘Ohh! La, La! Couture’.
The company’s website describes The Emily Grace Collection as having a “trendy, sweet, yet edgy feel, reminiscent of Emily’s true personality. She is collaborating with Ooh! La, La! Couture designers to create versatile styles that can be worn with sweet ballerina slippers, funky sneakers or paired with lace stockings and boots for more of a rock and roll look. Emily’s collection will appeal not just to little girls – the line also has an exclusive Teen Collection available to a size 14.” [via NineMSN]
Wait, lingerie that’s not just for pre-pubescent girls? Finally! Hey, how big is a size 14? Quick, someone measure my bust and crotch, I think my balls are a B-cup. Yes, this is gonna be the best Valentine’s Day ever, isn’t that right, Japanese sex pillow.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/POLANSKI-NOAHCYRUS-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/06/ponyo4-150x150.jpg)
Kids and lingerie? IT’S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
I am pretty sure after reading/posting/commenting on this topic you need to go introduce yourself to your neighbors…
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, pinches gringos
The company’s website describes The Emily Grace Collection as having a “trendy, sweet, yet edgy feel, reminiscent of Emily’s true personality.
So her personality is simplistic and lacks substance? I’m pretty sure that’s a burn.
Roman Polanski approves.
Emily’s collection will appeal not just to little girls
Understatement. Of. The. Fucking. Century.
Rooster: Gas up the van, Trish; we goin’ ta fashion week! YeeHaw!
I am preemptively taking a seat right over there.
It’s rare that I’m so completely appalled and disgusted by a story that I can’t find some way to make funny comments about it…and this is one of those occasions. What the HELL are they thinking?
The incentive for Ed Begley Jr. to murder Chris Hansen just got a bit stronger.
I think it’s time for Child Services to pay a visit to the Cyrus household.
Brett Ratner is thinking he was featured in the wrong post today.
9 yr olds don’t need lingerie. They’re sexy enough as they are.
*Pedobear looks up from praying, sees this post on Filmdrunk*
Holy fuck, it works!
*kisses cross, runs to get camera and cane with mirror attached to the bottom.*
Billy Ray, that’s not what she meant when she asked for a teddy.
Don’t tell Billy Ray’s achy-breaky heart about this. I’m pretty sure it won’t fucking understand.
I guess buying her lingerie at that midget couture shop was getting too expensive.
What the fuck is this shit? Encouraging prepubescent girls to dress in brothel-gear is just wrong. Especially when there are sandwiches to be made and floors to clean. Talking of which, can anyone recommend a good jizz mopper?
And JonBenét Cyrus was never heard from again…
What better way to end the Cyrus’ feud with the McCoys?
Get them all thrown in prison for statutory rape!
The best part about a 9-year old girl in lingerie is flipping her over and pretending it’s a 9-year old boy in lingerie.
I hope this stuff comes with a merkin.
Ooh! La La Couture do-it-yourself waxing kit sold separately… three years separately.
Usually after you ask about a size 14, you are supposed to follow it with an arm-cast beating and then demand that lotion be rubbed on the skin.
Holy fuck! What are we saying?
At least strippers don’t have to feel so badly on take your daughter to work day.
There comes a point in every man’s life where he hopes that heaven isn’t real, if only because then his parents can’t see him make jokes about 9 year-old girls in lingerie.
Left to right: no, yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes.
Ball-gags for nine year olds i can understand – and have employed – but this? This is why we can’t have nice things.
Picture on the Right: You! Yeah the chubby one. How many sexual partners have you had?
My friend* wants to know if you can pay 9 year old strippers in Monopoly money?
*cellmate
If only I had Miley Cyrus as a big sister to tell me I looked good in women’s lingerie growing up…
*puts on lipstick, does Buffalo Bill dancing scene from Silence of the Lambs
Hey, just because she can’t spell garter and thigh-highs doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be wearing them.
It’s going to take a lot of drinking tonight, followed by a lot of self-inflicted hits with a shovel to forget about this.
So how long until Noah’s Vanity Fair photo shoot?
Well, she’s built better than Paris Hilton.
I was wearing lingerie at 9 and look at me. I turned out fine.
*takes hit off crack pipe, pops Valtrex*
I’d definitely suck the puss out of those mosquito bites.
[smashes trough door with sledgehammer yelling "POLICE SEARCH WARRENT!" tossing flash bangs like party poppers and tazing anyone still standing]
HAHA! Just kidding fags! I missed you guys! So what’s up? [looks at post]
What.
the.
fuck?
Ninja escape!
[throws smoke bomb at feet, jumps out window]
“Well, she’s built better than Paris Hilton.”
…and looks better in night vision
Call me old-fashioned, but I think footie pajamas with a trap door on the tush are much sexier.
The only silver lining I see in this is that if your 9-year-old daughter asks for Noah Cyrus’s lingerie for Christmas you immediately know it’s time to cut your losses and high tail it to an adoption agency
I’m plan on buying some of this for my 9 yr old daughter just as soon as I buy her some tits.
*Yawn* Call me when she starts selling crotchless panties.
Have you guy’s seen Noah’s porn yet?
She takes on two guys of every race.
She’ll be teaming up with her pint-sized best friend Emily Grace to launch a children’s lingerie collection for ‘Ohh! La, La! Couture’.
Roman Polanski much prefers that she team up with her other pint-sized friend “Mr. Pint Wine Glass”
Screw Hurt Locker, give Jacktion! the Best Picture Oscar
It makes sense to target 9 yr olds. Once you start your period, you ruin all of your nice panties.
You’re welcome.
I wonder what Hitler thinks about this?
*runs off to edit a video*
I heard Polanski’s boner hit his chalet’s roof from over here in Oregon.
Only natural she’d turn out to be an Achy Breaky Tart.
Dude, I heard a nine year old got caught exposing herself to Roman Polanksi. Roman Polanski, dude.
As much as I love fondling young children, I’d rather see Miley’s brother–Trace Cyrus–swathed in any number of pre-teen teddies.
Now I can legally take pictures of my daughter with a “nip-slip”.
After reading all these comments, I’ve decdided to place all of you under citizens arrest! We cannot have people like you discussing molestation of boys…wait…Noah is a girl?!? Well carry on then.
Kahless on a Kracker! Of all the days to play “name that intestinal disease” with a hot little med student!
The Mighty Feklahr would like to sit here and lie and pretend she had to stick a finger up his ass or something, but she did have to touch His man-boob!