Film director and well-known tubby f*ck Kevin Smith was recently kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat. Smith claimed he was able to lower his armrests without issue and buckle his seatbelt without an extender, and has since dedicated no less than 98 Tweets to whining about the matter [UPDATE: Since first count, he's dedicated countless more]. In fairness to Smith, I’ve sat between guys way fatter than him on flights before. In fairness to Southwest, it was really uncomfortable. Said Southwest:
Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank – as he’s been known to do when traveling on Southwest. He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded [hence why they kicked him off after he'd already been seated on the plane]. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.
The statement appeared on the travel blog Gadling, who themselves wrote:
Oh Southwest Airlines… You make yourself look good by staying away from those pesky baggage charges, then you go and make yourself look ridiculous by kicking a famous actor off your plane because the captain decided he was “a safety risk” for being too fat to fly. Bad, bad move. Seriously, I can’t wait for the PR spin on this one.
This shouldn’t be too hard to spin into a positive. Hell, I’d pay extra to fly on No Fat Chicks airlines, just to see all the fatties cry their hollandaise tears when they get to the gate and find out they can’t board. There’s nothing like seeing a fattie really cry, all that blubbering blubber. Anyway, I generally like Kevin Smith and I can understand why he’s pissed, but… really, dude? 98 Tweets? If you’d put this kind of energy towards, say, pull ups, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Also, what the hell are you doing flying Southwest? You can’t buy a Southwest ticket and then complain of a bad experience. That’s like eating at Taco Bell and acting surprised about the diarrhea. An experience I’m sure you know all too well.
I want more like this!
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