(Get it? His hair’s messed up because he’s blind. Stupid Hollywood, The Braillettes managed it fine.)
Fox currently owns the rights to the Daredevil franchise, but if they don’t do anything with it, it reverts back to Marvel. And if there’s one thing Fox execs can’t stand, it’s the idea of anyone else making a suckier movie than them. Therefore, Daredevil reboot. Same blind dude, now with less Affleck. ;-(
Regency is mounting the remake with former News Corp No. 2 Peter Chernin producing. Writing the redo is screenwriter David Scarpa, who scripted The Day The Earth Stood Still for Fox. [DHD]
The Day the Earth Stood Still... anyone see that? No? Didn’t think so. Maybe I’ll catch it on cable. If I lose my remote or something. Anyway, the important thing is that they cast a strong lead, and I think I’ve got the perfect choice…
That’s right, Blind Cowbell Girl. Not only will she be way more convincing, but what better way to improve upon something than to add more cowbell? It’s genius. You owe me for this, Fox.
BAD GUY: “Shhh. …Do you hear something?”
[Off in the distance]: Clank, clank, clank….
[Thanks to Argentino for that Braillettes picture]
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Like this won’t be Taylor Lautner (as Daredevil) versus Sam Worthington (as Bullseye) with Him catching it on FX in a month (dismissive wanking Klingon).
I can brailley wait to see it.
And the parade of comic book movies nobody wants continues.
Actually, that sounds like a great build up to a punch line:
“So this blind Latino kid walks up to a guy with a lousy fake Australian accent that is playing darts at a bar…”
Is Hollywood still trying to make Sam Worthington happen?
He’s not going to happen!
Daredevil could be a great movie, but it won’t be.
the brailletes make you FEEL their songs
Daredevil should be played by Josh Hartnett. That squinty bastard can barely see anyway.
And it’s not like he’s got anything else on his plate.
Daredevil hardly ever has to reboot because he uses a Mac. He just thinks that “windows” is an assholey name for an operating system for blind people.
The ‘ette on the left isn’t really blind. She just wants to fit in. The one in the middle is a goddman gollum. The one on the right is giving me those bedroom eyes….
Dare devil’s theme should be by Charlie Daniels, or I walk.
goddamn, goddmanit!
He has to reboot because he keeps putting the right one on his left foot and the left on his right food.
Two things I noticed after replaying Blind Cowbell Girl 5-6 times:
1) Chubby cheerleaders
2) Reese’s sponsorship
Coincidence? I think not.
They should let Robert Zemeckis give this the mo-cap treatment. All of his characters already have dead eyes.
Cowbell or WOWbell? I think we know the answer.
He has wrong food, elle0??
A reboot is that experimental german screen-door submarine, right?
I think one of the Braillettes banged Rocky Dennis.
He can’t see or spell!
Blind chicks can read body language as well. For instance, they know I’m horny when they feel my erection.
. .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . .. . . . .
. . .. . .. .. . .. .. . .. . .. .. .. .. . . . . .. . .. ..
. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Don’t get head from the ‘ette in the middle, my dick looks like Channing Tatum now.
When you’re blind, it’s just a bell.
Chareth, what you just said was out of line. Even for my taste.
The Braillettes’ studio music may not be too interesting, but their live shows are awesome. I’ve never seen three members of a band stage dive that many times during one song.
There’s one thing we can all agree upon: if there’s a hell, we’re going.
Careth. Consider your post nommed.
Channing Tatum’s grouping of genital warts translates to “Holla atcha boy” in braille.
What’s the policy for nominating two posts from the same person from the same thread?
Chareth. You complete me.
This is gonna stink as bad as Ddaredeviled egg farts.
I stutter when I’m sober. WHY AM I SOBER!!??
I just think it’s sexy that the Brailettes know what each others’ nipples say.
The Brailette’s were the muse behind Jeff Healy’s “Angel Eyes”.
I was railing a blind chick and she started laughing cause my backne said, “Back door beauty.”
Good thing about sexing blind chicks is that there’s no piont in shaving for the ol’ optical inch.
Yay! No scrote stubble!
Seriously, no one wants a story about a superhero lawyer. Suspension of disbelief can only be stretched so far
Crap – Pray tell – What is the optical inch?
Silly blind girl, she always puts her socks on the wrong feet.
Good thing about sexing a blind girl is that if you and a friend wear the same cologne you can tag team.
The Braillettes smacked Seal after they read his face.
The Braillettes needed a bookmark to get through Danny Trejo’s face.
This is as bad as an idea as bending over at a blind orgy.
To the Braillettes, Edward James Olmos’ face is “The Neverending Story”.
ord Hum, the optical inch is the theory that your unit looks longer if you shave/trim.
Which I don’t really need to do, you know, cuz I’m set up just fine, it’s just something I heard and havn’t tried so I wouldn’t know.
If you ever get the chance to see the Braillettes in concert, you should. Their top hat and cane routine is simply stunning.
Blind girls hate it when you write “cock hole” on their face in Sharpie.
I like the Braillettes, but they aren’t really their own act. They worked much better as Ray Charles’ backup singers.
Although The Braillettes debut, Our Hearts Keep Singing, was a resounding success for their label, Heart Warming Records, their second release, Marco? Polo!, was deemed too experimental and never found an audience.
The Brailettes are a hell of a lot better than the Closed Captionistas.
Blind girls hate it when you leave the plunger in the toilet.
My blind girlfriend pissed me off so I rearranged the funiture.
My blind girlfriend was confused when I spoke of getting some “good white ‘caine.”
With her other senses heightened, my blind girlfriend hated when I’d bust a dutch oven.
Her favo(u)rite band? Blind Mellon.
My blind girlfriend hated when I’d switch the ID tags on her clothes. Prints and patterns? Faux Pas!
The Brailettes’ singing is good, but their instrument playing lacks something. The one that plays piano has trouble reading the sheet music and playing the melody with the harmony.
Masturbation can get you a record deal. My new album drops next month.
The Braillettes credit their manager, Angelo Mendoza, for making them successful.
The Braillettes’ future is so the opposite of bright, they gotta wear shades.
When asked who their musical influences were, the Braillettes fell silent as they’ve never really looked up to anyone.
The Braillettes had to cut their tour with the Baha Men short after someone let the seeing eye dogs out :(
Even though they have a great deal with their record company, The Braillettes have yet to see any royalties from this album.
On Opposite Day, The Braillettes do an awesome version of Eyes Without a Face.
Hey chino where did you go to witty comment school. Jesus.
There is no such thing as the ‘no brown m&ms’ rule for The Braillettes. They are just the only ones who don’t know it.
I didn’t go to school. I slipped through the cracks :(
In addition to being blind, The Braillettes also have hairy palms.
If you play this record backwards, you hear The Braillettes asking you to quit waving your hands in front of their faces to see if they’re really blind. They may not be able to see you do it, but they know you are and it’s really annoying.
The Braillettes had to reissue this album on CD as the liner notes scratched all of the records.
The Braillettes were originally called Sixth Eye Blind.
Ok, ok. I’ll go.
FACT.
Third Eye Blind is only half the group that The Braillettes are.
FACT.
The Brailettes really put the ” . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .
. . .. . .. .. . .. .. . .. . . . .
. . . . . .. . . . . . . ”
in ” . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . .. . .. .. . .. .. . .. . . . . . ..
. . . . . .. . . . . . . . ”
Fuck. I was going to finish that thought but I couldn’t figure out how to do ellipses in Braille.
A backstage pass for a Braillettes show also allows you to park right up by the front door.
The Braillettes can hit all the notes except for the C.
The Braillettes want you to put your hands in the air and wave ‘em like you just don’t care. Or don’t. It doesn’t really matter.
All of The Braillettes’ songs are in 40/40 time.
The Braillettes tried to teach singing but all of their pupils sucked.
I was going to make a comment about this but i believe i will leave the floor to Chino…
The Brailettes can hear the metro-gnome under their bed.
Looks like I’ll have to think up a new name for my script about ginger hordes taking over the world. Working title:
DaRedEvil
“The Braillettes” was the 2nd choice for a band name after the “No-Eyed Peas” suggestion was shot down.
The studio shorthand for their recording set-up was “Three Blind Mic’s”.
dude that’s offensive
Here’s my story, sad but true
About a girl that I once knew.
She broke my heart, I became unglued,
It all started when she called me dude
Well today I leave the psycho ward
Cause my sentence did conclude:
I had killed a man with my bare hands
Because he called me dude
The jury said that I was insane.
Temporally insane – brain strain.
But now the doctors say I’m A.O.K.
So I start my new life today.
This story starts some years ago
As I vacationed by the sea.
In the California sunshine
Just me & my baby.
I was in love feeling sky high
When a big blonde lifeguard walked by.
He looked at her, she looked at him -
I knew it was good bye.
He took her by the hand, kicked sand in my face.
She looked & laughed & said, “Later Dude!”
They were gone without a trace
And the waves echoed her laughter
And her words…Yo Later Dude.
Later that night I was in such a bad mood
Sittin’ in a bar drinkin’ hard, getting stewed
Thinkin’ ’bout that girl & how ’bout I’d been screwed
When some guy walks in sits next to me & says
What’s up dude!
I heard the word dude & I became unglued.
Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch
And put my hands around his neck, and I squeezed…
DON’T CALL ME DUDE!
So that’s how I got where I am
But this ain’t where it ends.
The doctors said they cured me
I said good bye to my crazy friends.
I was smiling as i left that place
My life had been renewed.
The guard at the gate, he stamped my pass
And he said, “Yo Later Dude!”
Slowly I turned…
Fucking Scatterbrain FTW!!!
Best “novelty” song ever? Or just an awesome fucking song?
Just an awesome fucking song. Love it.
Same here.
*heads to YouTube to watch shitty VHS-quality “Dude” clip*
*again*
“They just don’t get it, do they?” – James Cameron
send me the youtube link, please
/lazy
It has been done.
/subservient
“No, seriously, what the fuck is up with Amanda Seyfried’s eyes? We’ve felt better eyes on a baracuda.” – The Braillettes
Where’d you send it?
Check yr FB status :)
It took the Braillettes 3 days, working in shifts, to “read” Rocky Dennis’s face.
God, I haven’t heard that in so long. Thank you.
DON’T. CALL. ME. DUDE.
Yes, your worship, when taken at face value (ha!), my Rocky Dennis joke appears to be suspiciously similar to Pauly’s Eddy Olmos joke.
Please let me assure you, the plagiarism was purely unintentional. I didn’t mean “read” as in “Braille”, I meant it in the “let a blind person feel your face so they can get off, or whatever” sense.
The defense rests. Because it’s really out of shape.
Let’s make it an even 100.
@spaz–while we’re bullshitting, Pauly’s Olmos joke was the spiritual descendant of my beloved Trejo joke. Just sayin.
Also, the Braillettes’ manager would say “here, read your new contract” and then sneak his dick onto the table.
what, no credit for sending you the braillets cover?
I´m going to pajiba.