HURT LOCKER RAPES UK’S PTERODACTYL
02.22.10The Hurt Locker and Avatar were both nominated for eight awards at the BAFTAS (the British Oscars, basically) last night, with The Hurt Locker taking home six, including awards for best picture, best director, best adapted screenplay; and Avatar two, for production design and visual effects. 58-year-old Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to win a BAFTA, great strides toward equality, feminism, girl power, blah blah blah, I think I speak for all the guys when I say I wouldn’t mind gettin’ mauled by that cougar, gnome sayin’? Subjoke: It’s not surprising James Cameron would fall for a 12-foot-tall cougar.
And you know it was a classy affair because Mickey Rourke showed up wearing a vest, no shirt, a sweet necklace, and a 24-year-old Russian model. Later when he presented the nominees for best actress, he couldn’t read the teleprompter because he said he hadn’t brought his glasses. God I love that man. When I run an awards show, Mickey Rourke will win all of them and instead of statuettes, we’ll hand out small dogs. (full list of winners after the jump)
Film — “The Hurt Locker”British Film — “Fish Tank” Director — Kathryn Bigelow, “The Hurt Locker” Actor — Colin Firth, “A Single Man” Actress — Carey Mulligan, “An Education” Supporting Actor — Christoph Waltz, “Iglourious Basterds” Supporting Actress — Mo’nique, “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire.” Rising Star — Kristen Stewart British Debut — Director Duncan Jones, “Moon” Original Screenplay — “The Hurt Locker” Adapted Screenplay — “Up in the Air” Film Not in the English Language — “A Prophet” Music — Michael Giacchino, “Up” Cinematography — “The Hurt Locker” Editing — “The Hurt Locker” Production Design — “Avatar” Costume Design — “The Young Victoria” Sound — “The Hurt Locker” Visual Effects — “Avatar” Makeup and Hair — “The Young Victoria” Animated Feature — “Up” Short Film — “I Do Air” Short Animation _”Mother of Many” Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema — Camera technician Joe Dunton Academy Fellowship — Vanessa Redgrave
Picture and list via AP, video via DeadlineHollywood
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How meta will it be when Mickey wins the “Small Dog” for Best Use of a Small Dog as a Fashion Accessory?
Not to be outdone by Rourke, Jason Statham presented an award after removing an entire layer of skin.
That picture of Rourke with a 24 year old russian on his arm makes me think that the saying “Money can’t buy happiness” is full of shit.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Congratulations Kathryn Bigelow on being the only human alive capable of driving a stake through Cameron’s ego.
What’s next for her? She’s rumored to take over as director on the ICP Western from a few weeks back, now tentatively titled, “Kathryn Bigelow: Tombstone Juggalo.”
Oh, the COTW are BELOW the Birdemic post…guy’cha! Don’t you know how easy it is to disorient Klingons on a Monday morning, Lince?
I remember Ross Perot telling us all that BAFTA was a really bad idea.
Well, at least the British realize that the only good thing about Avatar is the visuals.
And I love the contrast between Kathryn Bigelow, who is aging gracefully, and Mickey Rourke, who is aging crazily.
Mickey Rourke isn’t aging, he’s metamorphosing.
Mickey Rourke isn’t aging; he’s moulting.
Is this like a Wikus van de Merwe thing? That would explain so much.
If Mickey Rourke starts eating cat food, we’ll know for sure.
Lince, The Mighty One just don’t get you. Birdemic rocks your face off, but you are still a Tromaville virgin?
Mickey Rourke couldn’t read the teleprompter because he doesn’t speak British.
When they told him that he could bring along any bird he wanted, Rourke informed them that he would not be bringing a bird because his parrot does not like large crowds.
Neither could his
hookertranslator.England? This is the BAFTAs! (As in British!) Why not Scotland’s Pterodactyl? (Still, I can see why you’d want to avoid referencing animal sex in regards to Wales. Actually, what am I saying? Why didn’t you link the animal sex joke to Wales?)
Mickey Rourke should do silly puddy ads to bring in more russian whore money, he could easily be the face of silly puddy. or is it the other way around?
She looks amazing for 58, need to find her graduation picture then marry a girl that looks like that. Or befriend someone who looks like a young Christopher Lloyd.
That model is actually leftover bits of Rourke’s original face with the brain of his chihuahua à la Squarepusher’s ‘Come on my Selector’. At last they can be together.