BLackDynamite-Mailer

The Plug: The commenting was fiercely competitive this week, as it should be when the prize is Black Dynamite on DVD. Black Dynamite hits stores February 16th, a date we FilmDrunkards have been eagerly anticipating for a long time.  I’m just sad I didn’t get quoted on the box.  Who’s this ‘Spike Lee’ guy, anyway?

The Winner: It was a tough choice as always, but this comment from Chareth Cutestory on Nick Nolte Went Dumpster Diving just made me smile.

Chareth Cutestory says:
[lid flies open]
Rip: “Yes?”
Nolte: “Have you seen my satchel?”
Rip: “Nope. *draws gun* But I’ll be taking that hat.”
Nolte: “Dag gum it, you ol’ huckleberry.”

Well done, Chareth.  Send me your address.  And now, the runners up:

This one was a close second.  Made me cringe and smile.  From This Family Photo:

Stinky Peet says: Bowling is in that child’s DNA. At the moment of conception, he picked up a spare.

3.  From Takers Stars Paul Walker, Looks Sort of Like a Movie:

Donkey Hodey says: Next summer, Paul Walker, Hayden Christensen, and Leo DiCaprio in ‘Pensive Face: The Movie’. Just when you thought it was safe to unfurrow your brow, IT’S NOT SAFE.

OOOH WAH AH AH …oh?

4. Same post, Morton Salt starts a Paul Walker meme I imagine we’ll get plenty of fun out of in the coming days.

Morton Salt says: At this point, I imagine Paul Walker’s mom is telling her friends that he is taking classes at ITT Tech and that he’s really enjoying it.

Morton Salt says: James Van Der Beek says he can get Paul Walker a job with him at the Verizon Store on Alameda, his manager totally owes him a favor.

5. From Rip Torn Thought the Bank Was His House:

ChinoMoreno says:
  You know he has an alcohol problem because he wanted to drink a loan.

6. From Takers Stars Paul Walker, Looks Sort of Like a Movie again:

Stofer says:
Casting Director: “Paul, this part is perfect for you.”

Paul Walker: (long pause) “What’s the character about?”

Casting Director: “It’s a guy pretending to be Steve McQueen who just poo’d his pants and is feeling really self-conscious about whether or not anybody can smell it yet.”

Paul Walker: “I’m in”

7. From The Hurt Locker is a Game-Changer Now Too:

Oski says: This is your brain *holds up an egg*
This is your brain when it’s been game changed *puts 3D glasses on egg*
Any questions?

8. From Gayn*****s From Outer Space [there were a few other funny comments on this post I can't endorse for obvious reasons]:

Donkey Hodey says: “Welcome Tri-Lambdas, we have come to your planet for the one you call Lamar.”

9. Chino riffs on Jason Statham & Vinnie Jones’ Plan to Open a Snatch bar:

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar is great fun, but you take a risk every time you come inside.

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar is an awesome place, but the neighbor is a real asshole.

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar -tips strongly encouraged.

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar -the more drinks you buy, the easier it is for you to gain entry.

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar just got it’s first renovation since it opened in the 70’s. It now has no carpet.

ChinoMoreno says: The Snatch Bar -you’re welcome to poke around, but please eat first.

10. (tie) From Paul Walker Signs on for Fast/Furious Five:

Pauly Dangerously says: 
F5 couldn’t refresh this franchise.

And

From Amanda Seyfried Sings a Love Song:

Jacktion! says: The only way that song could be further away from what I wanted to hear is if I was her left eye and that song was her right eye.

Phew.  I need an intern to start writing this post.  Anyway, keep commenting, and nominate for next week in the comments section below.