Fox just released the international trailer for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, from Oliver Stone, starring Shia LaBeouf and Michael Douglas. The domestic version didn’t reveal much about the plot, probably because we Americans don’t care about plot, only snuggies and giant sodas. But for the foreigners they provide a longer cut. We find out that Gordon Gekko is out of jail and becomes some sort of celebrity. Meanwhile Shia LaBeouf is busy trying to four-finger blast Gekko’s estranged daughter because she has boy hair. Josh Brolin is a bad guy, which you can tell because he takes Shia on a scary motorcycle ride like Jacob did with Bella. In fact that whole time through the forest I kept expecting him to turn into a giant wolf. That would’ve been so awesome, I’d totally be cleaning the jizz off my Taylor Lautner sex pillow right now. Well, more jizz anyway.
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Shia gives this 9/10!
Is it just me or does Douglas look like he has ape hands in that shot?
You ever watch a movie where two people are supposed to be related but look ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALIKE? This is not one of those.
That bitch has got Terminal Douglas Chin Syndrome.
“It’s easy to get in, it’s hard to get out.”
He obviously ain’t talkin’ ’bout butt sex.
Well, you don’t know what we can find.
Why don’t you come with me little girl
on a scary motorcyle ride?
Gordon became such a celebrity that he became the new spokesman for GEICO:
*snorts line* “I can afford to do this because I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. Take it from a REAL Gekko, not some fucking lizard”
That Shia LaBeouf is no Charlie Sheen…
That Charlie Sheen is no Martin Sheen…
Ironic they play Rolling Stones in the trailer… that’s what they call it when Michael Douglas jerks off
Shia loses his job when he’s out on the trading floor and accidentally sells then thousand shares of stock for $4 apiece instead of $5.
That Michael Douglas is no Kirk Douglas…
I guess what I’m saying is that everything is getting worse over time.
Help me out here because I always seem to get this one wrong. Is it I COULDN’T give a fuck less about this movie or I COULD give a fuck less about this movie? I don’t want to sound stupid if I’m at a social party dismissively wanking when some asshole brings this up.
You COULD give a fuck less but you couldn’t be bothered.
Do I have to hold my pinky in the air while saying it or can I just keep helicoptering my dick at the butler?
I knew I shouldn’t have quit finishing school to drive a truck. Now my son will never respect me unless I can arm-wrestle my way to the top.
I hope the Japanese version has more bukkake.
Blue Horseshoe thinks this is gonna blow.
[Pokes head in door]
FFFFUUUUUUCK!!!
FUCKING FUCKITY FUCKSTICKS FFFFUUUUUUCK!!!!!
That is all.
[leaves]
I thought it was about the kids.
And that we already work around the clock.
And that we need a miracle.
These old actors are confusing. Someone pass me my ben-gay and fart juice.
*removes dentures, naps on the bus
Money never sleeps … with me. /sad trombone
It looks like they wanted Natalie Portman for this movie, but couldn’t get her.
This other actress has a short haircut, but she’s NOT-alie Portman.
I said it back when this movie was being made, did anyone and I mean anyone ask for this movie to be made?!?!?
Why am I still at work?