02.05.10 AIR BUD GOLDEN RECEIVER INVADES MCG MOVIE

Isn’t that the same plot as Hot to Trot?

McG and Tigirish had the same colouring book as young boys.

That’s my indirect way of calling McG a goat fucking fruitcake.

Wardrobe Dept: Hello, Kohls? Yes, I’m gonna need a white trench coat with matching hat and a black trench coat with matching hat.

McG: *giggles* This is gonna be the bomb, yo.

What do Reese Witherspoon and a golden retriever have in common?

McG wants to f**k em.

McG is doing “This Means War” his way, or the highway!

Well, off to the hospital again, let’s hope something goes up His ass this time!

The reason McG didn’t make ‘This Means War’ sooner than 1998 is that after he heard the title, it took 12 years to get him to stop calling the battle of the world powers from 1939-1945 “World This II”.

I had a hard time recognizing him without the crosshairs.

“The men’s bond disintegrates, and their ensuing battle escalates.”

McG knows that men who bond are gay. He would NEVER give his heart to another man.

So I guess the odds of me winning a copy of Black Dynamite are out since Vinky couldn’t even post ONE! FUCKING! TWILIGHT! STORY! ALL FUCKING WEEK!

Go back and count and FD averaged approximately 327 Twilight threads per week before I came up with a really good Twilight joke. My Life is Fuck Twilight.

Reese Witherspoon is going to play someone who’s in love with Reese Witherspoon?

That shouldn’t be too much of a stretch, Jack.

Do they not live by the espionage creed “Bros before Hoes”?

Do the legwork, Erswi, you know my email address.

I mean, not now because it’s Friday afternoon, but… just sayin.

Shit. You want me to find you a story? Fine.

But let it be known I am only researching Twilight in order to have something to bate to later have a context in which to write this joke. And also the bating part.

Yeah. Too late. I’m gonna flood your inbox wiff Twilight shit now.

Who dat say dey gotta joke ’bout Twilight?

Fuck.

You.

Pauly.

R. Kelly’s Golden Receiver home movie starred an underage girl.

Swi you have pumped this joke up so much, not to mention begging for anotherfuckingTwilightpost(!), if it doesn’t make me pukelaugh I’m unfriending you and posting nasty pictures of my dogs asshole at FFDS.

Yeah. I know. It’s like I can’t even tell it now. I swear to Jebus it very nearly got me Hustla’d when I thought of it. In a thread that was 1000 million percent unrelated, of course.

*points to the word “Guerra” on the chalkboard, screams*

THIS MEANS “WAR”!

Erswi, since when does a joke have to be in context?

Also, now that you’ve built it up, it’s not going to be funny.

‘This Means War’ is what that Michael Jackson movie would have been called if Mel Gibson had made it and the doctor who killed him was a Jew.

[Puts on spiked football pads and demon mask, plays shock metal and smashes the heads of dummies to mush with guitar]

THIS MEANS GWAR!!

McG makes movies the way dogs play football (excessive drooling and sh*tting).

FACT. The title McG originally wanted for his last film was Terminator: Salivation. FACT.

Now if the other guy could be Christian Bale then this movie is definitely headed for greatness…just don’t get the same Director of Photography McG!