This is a crazy story, you guys. It turns out, a horror movie opened in Italy. And you know what happened? Kids got scared. But you know who’s not happy about that? That’s right, Mussolini.
“For the past two weeks a trailer has been shown obsessively on TV and is terrifying thousands of children. The movie is called ‘Paranormal Activity’,” Italian Defence Minister [!!!] Ignazio La Russa said last Thursday. “It’s a terrible thing. I took notice because my seven-year-old son told me ‘Daddy, I’m scared’.”
Alessandra Mussolini, granddaughter of the Italian fascist dictator and head of a parliamentary committee on children [!!!!!!], said “Paranormal Activity” had “highly distressing content” and was causing “panic attacks and psychological problems among youths.” “I don’t think we can ban ‘Paranormal Activity’ now, but surely we need to study how to warn parents of the risks their children are incurring,” Mussolini said. The Italian parents’ association noted that admission to the movie is restricted in the United States, Britain, Germany and The Netherlands and asked for an age limit of 18 in Italy. [Yahoo]
Ahh, yes, sage advice from the brutal dictator’s granddaughter. And the Italian public would’ve listened too, if only she’d been dressed in a cleavage-bearing nurse’s uniform and being chased by a clown in a diaper with a butterfly net.
Side note: here’s an NSFW picture of Alessandra Mussolini which I swear to God I hadn’t seen until after I was already finished writing this post.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/WayansTwitterBeef-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/07/Lohan-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/paranormal-Activity-Keanu-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Mahna-Mahna-150x150.jpg)
Fucking Fascist.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from Jersey Shore, it’s that Italians usually have hair products in their names.
Eh, oh, Pauly D don’ use no Mussolini on his hai-uh, only Ice spikuh.
Well thanks a lot, Italy! I was glad never having to watch this shitbag movie, but now I have to out of some perverse sense of defying authority figures. You better not start banning Larry the Cable Guy/Katherine Heigl movies, you garlic eating fuckers!
Besides, anything that terrifies children is all right in His book!
Sadly, Hitler never had grandchildren, as Alessandra’s grandfather bit his weenie, rendering it useless.
Oh, she’s just a silly goosolini!
They’ve all been really touchy since Roberto Benigni died.
I’m surprised Benito was able to perpetuate the bloodline after losing his balls in North Africa.
She was misquoted…if I learned anything from watching My Cousin Vinny it’s that Mussolini’s granddaughter would never use the word “youths”. Also, if anyone wants some stellar grits, let me know.
I need sean connery to call someone a “shtupid wop daego”
Italian dudes get it together, you invented and condoned stuff like the Inquisition and the Crusades for petes sake, bring some of that sexy back
Mussolini’s granddaughter acts as if this movie shot, kicked, spat on, and hung her grandfather’s corpse upside down on meathooks from the roof of a gas station so people could stone it.
Who wouldn’t be scared of a shitty movie making lots of money and getting an unnecessary sequel?
So they elect porn stars to parliament, but a movie trailer with chandeliers swinging and people sitting in a bed is too much? And here I thought the next generation in the US was doomed to pussydom.
I stir a spoonful of Mussolini into my glass of water to help keep me regular.
Alessandra Mussolini is testy because she is breast feeding and has sore naples.
So They want to give this movie the Italian boot.
I always thought the Italians had more spleen than this. Just seems as Italian as Mac’n'Cheese.
The children were frightened because when the people were talking their hands weren’t flailing about. SO CREEPY!!
nyup!
If I’ve learned anything it’s that Italians are afraid of nothing. Not hammer-throwing turtles, not man-eating flowers… in fact ghosts only charge you if you turn your back on them.
Scuze me, I gotta go drop a koopa.