Well, folks, it’s mid-January, long considered the dumping ground for studios’ crap movies. It’s stupid. They only do this because they’ve always done this. If they saved a good movie and opened it against a bunch of crap, it’d make a ton of money. Whatever. At least Extraordinary Measures has contributed “I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!!” to the world. It’s the new “GET OFF MY PLANE!” or “GIMME BACK MY SON!”
Opening this weekend (trailers after the jump):
Extraordinary Measures
This looks good, but since I already know what happens from the trailer, I don’t think I’ll see it. I also can’t think of Brendan Fraser doing anything else after seeing this gif. (Thanks, Charlie Meadows)
Legion
Yes, it had an awesome trailer. And the effects look great. But it’s also tracking lower than the Tooth Fairy on rottentomatoes (13%). How do you make a fight between angels exciting? There aren’t any consequences. They’re already dead, what happens when you shoot them, they turn into a bat?
The Tooth Fairy
The Rock plays the tooth fairy. Haha, it’s funny because it’s real life and not a bad joke, get it? Look, I just wanna know how long it’s gonna be before a Samoan black guy in Hollywood can stop getting typecast as a hockey player. It’s a shameful.
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The Rock took Brendan Fraser to the SmackDOWNS Hotel, ROFLKOTAL!
Teh Toof Faerie is so good you want me to watch it TWICE?
Last time I shot an angel she started screaming about how much that shit stings when it gets in your eyes. I’m not allowed near fashion shows anymore.
Angels love dying in battle, it’s the only way they can get some hot valkyrie tail.
Middle aged women everywhere will be masturbating to the thought of Harrison Ford fixing retarded kids.
I ALREADY MADE THE KESSEL RUN IN UNDER 12 PARSECS.
Middle aged women everywhere will be masturbating to the thought of Harrison Ford fixing retarded kids.
Wait, surgically or chemically? Ah, what do I care, as long as she doesn’t get pregnant, right?
Know who else worked around the clock? Flava Flav’s great grandfather Slava Slav!
I wouldn’t mind being the stepfather of Han solo’s bastard child.
An Oscar for anyone that shuffles The Book of Eli down the list ! Go Rock, go !
I will eventually rent Tooth Fairy, pause it on a shirtless shot, and then leave it there. Forever.
Why is Harrison Ford working on a clock? Shouldn’t he be fixing the retard?
How do you make a fight between angels exciting?
Mindfreak!
I actually got chills of embarrassment when I saw Brendan Frasier performing that petit mal seizure at the Golden Globes.
“I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK”
I feel like Harrison Ford could yell anything at me and I’d do it immediately. Subsequently I feel like i could yell anything at Brendan Fraiser and he’d do it, no questions asked?
Honest to god…Legion was almost as painful as The Happening. It was at least as confusing as Lady in the Water. I don’t know what happened, but I want the movie I saw the trailer for. Brokeback Angels…that’s all I’m saying.