Back in 2007, Spawn-creator Todd McFarlane made a line of toys called The Twisted Land of Oz. He wanted to do a movie version, a dark re-imagining of Wizard of Oz — Dakota Fanning was rumored to star. Now, apparently, that project is dead, but according to Pajiba, a family-friendly Oz sequel developed parallel to McFarlane’s version, Oz: The Return to Emerald City, is moving forward at WB. From Pajiba‘s source:
It’s a modern-day sequel. The story centers on Dorothy Neil, a bright and ambitious young lawyer for a prestigious law firm in Chicago. Neil is the grand-daughter of Dorothy Gale, who is now an old woman living in Kansas and telling her tales about her time in the land of Oz to a new generation of kids. However, trouble is afoot in Oz, as a new witch is destroying the magic that keeps the entire place running. While babysitting her boss’ kid, the kid and Dorothy Neil are brought back to Oz and united with the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow and tasked with killing an evil witch and restoring order in Oz.
Huh, well that… certainly… sounds like… a movie. Look, all I’m saying is if a house landed on a witch’s top half, but her bottom half was just laying there with her dress pulled up… I’d probably go to town. I mean why waste it, right? What. What. Oh sure, I’m the weird one.
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Tagline: We’re not in Ken’s ass anymore.
And no, I don’t care that that joke was a non-sequiter.
Dakota Fanning stars in a lot of my personal ‘dark re-imaginings’ too.
Sarah Jessica Parker will play the sassy steed and
Nic Cage will be the rambunctious rag-doll retard
i really hope sandra bullock plays the bitchy lawyer
Lizard of Ooze; Giecko gecko with the clap.
I’m sorry, but Nic Cage would have to play the wizard’s giant head.
Pajiba later reported that I gave them a wet willy and a pink belly. Pussy snitches.
My ex did a Dorothy get up one year for Halloween and I railed her in a bedroom in costume.
Cheerleader (x)
Dorothy (x)
Ariel ( )
Slave Leia ( )
Hope my future wife is into cosplay…
^ Blatant bragging asshole
Hey you guys remember Return to OZ? Ya, me neither because a force feed sequel to Wizard of Oz is bound to be complete shit.
I hate to say this but McFarlane’s idea sounded much better than this drivel.
My ex did a Scarecrow get up one year for Halloween but he got drunk and passed out before he could get any brain.
even Return to Oz sounds better than this piece of crap
The only time I want to see heels clicking together is in the strip club.
My ex’s asshole didn’t dress up like the tin-man, but she begged me to oil it.
One year I dressed up like; guy passed out in backyard next to puddle of vomit who happens to have half of a Three Musketeers costume on. :(
Ah, college :)
I’d rather watch a marathon of Oz, Only The Man Rape Episodes.
How is WB gonna work in that racist frog of theirs?
BTK, Todd McFarlane is a fucking idiot and sucks and is over-rated.
There, I said it.
Does this movie involve prison shower rape?
See swi, you’re like me, whenever I think OZ I have a PTSD flashback about forced sodomy.
I so hope they introduce the dog in this while playing Africa on the radio.
BTK,
ToddSeth McFarlane is a fucking idiot and sucks and is over-rated.Ficksed.
I thought Oz was the new Cheech and Chong movie?
[crosses arms, leans back and waits for pot smokers to catch up]
Isn’t that the plot of Hook, with Dorothy replacing Peter Pan, and Oz replacing Never-never land?
My ex said she was too tired to fuck and fell asleep on me and she starred in my cell phone movie Jizzard of Jaws.
I thought The Wiz was the dark reimagining
Fuck. You. Madman.
Stole my effin’ joke and reworded it to be funnier =[
Please let Steven Seagal play the Tin Man.
I always call Chino’s mom when I’m being raped in a prison shower.
If they’re keeping the same character representations then the Lion is Nancy Pelosi, the Tin Man is Jackie Chan, and the Scarecrow is Cam Gigandet.
Jack! Like I said in the last post, why don’t you call your own….nevermind.
…that’s still pretty fucked up…
There had better be a shitpile of midgets and flying motherfucking monkey going on or everybody involved in this can eat shit and die.
Screw this.
[Pops in DVD of Under the Rainbow fondles unit]
When asked for comment Judy Garland’s corpse responded: “Fuck yo’ house, witch”
Instead of poppies, they’ll prolly all get fucked up on meth and pcp.
I hope they cast Nicolas Cage as the Wizard and he plays the character the same way he played Terence McDonagh.
So it’s just like “Hook” only… No, actually, I guess it’s just like “Hook”.
Dakota Fanning in bondage would make for quite a scene!