(Kelly Brook and Riley Steele on the set of Piranha 3D; source = WWTDD)
Sometimes we forget that the victims of this financial crisis aren’t all Best Buy clerks who can no longer afford the mortgage payments on their $600,000 house, or Wall Street execs who couldn’t buy new ponies for their daughter’s yacht this Christmas. Some of the victims are just regular, hard-working films like Piranha 3D.
The Weinstein Company has fallen on hard times. Nine is a financial disaster, despite its Golden Globe nominations. And their 2009 genre box office was gloomy.
Tonight, the company has announced Piranha 3D has been pushed out of April into an undetermined August slot. David Glaser, a senior Weinstein Co. executive, tells the L.A. Times that the decision was not motivated by finances.
Sources tell us that when the film does arrives in August, it will not be in 3D. [Shocktillyoudrop]
Poor Piranha 3D. It’s sad when you can’t even afford the thing that’s in the title. But I think we all know who’s to blame for this: Kate Hudson. That’s right, Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson was in Nine, and they even let her sing a damned song in the trailer, despite the fact that she hasn’t been in a movie that’s scored over 50% on RottenTomatoes in ten years. Her last four scored 12%, 15%, 10%, and 21%, respectively (full numbers after the jump). Kate Hudson is to movies what Chinese milk is to baby food, and not only do they not take her out, they keep putting her name on the box. Bottom line, this is all her fault, and the sooner she pays us back the TARP money, the sooner we can all get on with our lives.
Bride Wars: 12%
My Best Friend’s Girl: 15%
Fool’s Gold: 10%
You, Me, and Dupree: 21%
The Skeleton Key: 38%
Raising Helen: 22%
Le Divorce: 38%
Alex & Emma: 11%
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: 43%
Four Feathers: 41%
Dr. T and the Women: 57%
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/08/Gary-busey-Petting_Zoo-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/06/Madonna-Director-Smell-150x150.jpg)
Don’t give up on ‘Four Feathers’ just yet. I hear it’s getting a sequel called ‘Five Feathers’.
Whatever. Who are these whores and where might I find them so that I may violate their bodily orifices repeatedly?
Oh yeah, and Kate Hudson sucks too.
The picture clearly shows “call girls”, Erswi. This is the before picture.
They showed a 3-D preview of this before Avatar.
From what I can tell, they should probably never release it.
And hasn’t Kate Hudson run out of good will from Almost Famous yet? How many times does she have to bomb before people realize that was a fluke?
They’re not dead yet!
I’d prefer to see them as hookers.
Whatever they do, they shouldn’t change the title to ‘Pirahna 2D’, unless they want people there expecting the black chick from The Facts of Life to go down on Jo.
…I’ll be right back.
If How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is your high water mark it’s probably time to think about that real estate license.
This is not nearly as terrifying as Candiru 3D.
The sad part is that they’ve been running previews for it that say it will be 3d for a few months now in the theaters.
It looked incredibly terrible either way so I wasn’t too worried.
It appears that Kelly Brook has already filmed Beardless Clam 3D.
Also, surely Riley Steele is infringing upon a porn stud’s name.
They should expand Kelly Brock’s role and rename it Piranha 34DD.
Brook, Brock, whatever, I’ll be in the corner and I don’t want to be bothered for 35 to 40 seconds….
I think this Riley Steele chick may actually be a porn star. Either way I’m ‘batin.
I laughed and thought to myself, “there’s no way Riley Steele isn’t already taken by a porn star.” Then I searched the name. She is a porn star. Then I chastised myself for not knowing that. Then I swore to fully research this topic. Later on. Tonight.
In full view of my neighbors.Hey! How’d you get that picture of me?!
The most unfortunate part of this story is that Hudson is too famous to go out Lana Clarkson style.
That’s a horrible porn name for a chick. May as well call yourself Sandpaper Snatch.
Kate Hudson’s movies would kill for Dick Cheney’s approval ratings
Serious Cat thinks that Purranha 3D looks like a cute flick.
So apparently my pornstar name would be “Captain Spreadum”. I like it.
Get Your Porn Name Here.
Given the type of people who would pay to see this in theaters, they should just leave the title as “3-D” charge the extra $3-5, hand out paper glasses and show the film in 2-D. No one will know the difference.
It would appear that Kelly’s tummy gets upset by guys that have mullets, bracelets bought at Hot Topic and red top hats.
With the star power Kate Hudson has, her next role should be in Pariah 3d.
Mine is Hugh Lottatang.
That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m married.
Daddy Spankadocious at your service
Hey! My name stayed Pauly Dangerously!
Well then I think we all know what type of career move you should be planning. *
* Seriously, Coyotes are 73% more likely to be killed in high speed chases with the border patrol than are the immigrants they’re transporting.
hey… wait a second, JESUS never married, hey everyone this guys a phony!
Kelly Brook was single chest’edly made Erectile Dysfunction a casualty, and that is far from tragic.
Or has…whatever…RACK!!!!!!
I pity the foo who dissed Dr. T and the Women. Thas fine Actin’, sucka.